


DPS

by Heligoland



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bard Simon, Druid Isabelle, Dubious Consent, First Time, Grumpy Alec Lightwood, I'm Sorry Tolkien, Inhibition Loss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Magnus Bane & Clary Fray Friendship, Ranger Alec, Rogue Clary, Warlock Magnus Bane, Warrior Jace, Who Let Simon Hold the Charango
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:35:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heligoland/pseuds/Heligoland
Summary: Alec Lightwood is heir of a vassal state, currently at the front line of a war against the rampaging forces of Valentine, a high-functioning psychotic warlord with a legendary magic cup and a penchant for turning things into other significantly more gruesome things. Magnus is a freewheeling bisexual warlock who wanders the lands, enchanting things and people and sometimes casks of mead, and generally making everyone he meets just a little happier. Well, Alec Lightwood doesn't ever get any happier, and Magnus is just going to have to deal with that.





	1. The Battle for Fernvale

**Author's Note:**

> I just really want classic fantasy with gay people in it, I guess? Hopefully finally posting the first chapter of this will motivate me to finish it...

It'd been three days since they'd seen civilization, but they were finally approaching familiar grounds. Alec knew the herbs tickling at his boots, and the familiar smell of Fernvale was coming in hints now as they took a wellworn road down from the mountain pass. He gathered enough Gila root to replenish his stock, as they went.   
  
Alec hated the new human girl they'd picked up in the last town. She looked like she'd snatched a pair of daggers off a shelf in Bogbridge, or wherever, and decided that was enough to start calling herself a rogue. An ogre could probably snap the redhead in half with his pinky. At least she was quiet (her feet anyway), but then she was also a hundred pounds soaking wet, so Alec wasn't terribly impressed by that. Jace certainly was, but then Jace spent most of his time thinking with his sword, and this was likely no exception.   
  
"Alec, Nafah's hungry," Izzy stroked the panther between the ears as it paused, shaking out its fur, with a quiet yawning growl.   
  
"Nafah's spoiled," Alec replied, with requisite grumpiness, "Tell her to catch something herself, shitty predator."   
  
There was a faint grumble out of the beast as she stalked the path in front of them.   
  
"Nafah says you're an asshole and she hates you. Also that birds don't forage at this time of night and she's not gonna climb a tree."   
  
Clary giggled at the exchange, while a nearby Jace almost died of adoration.   
  
"Nafah's too heavy to climb trees anymore," Alec shot back, grinning faintly as he took aim at an unappetizing looking owl.   
  
Izzy tilted her head and pursed her lips, "You weren't complaining when she took that pallbeast off you in Reeadhar. Twice her size, and stunk like piss."   
  
The panther's eyes dilated as her prey plummeted. She darted into the underbrush.   
  
"What a good girl," Izzy's voice was satin, over ugly snarling and tearing sounds.   
  
"Oh god," said Clary, covering her mouth.   
  
"Hmm," said Jace, watching the carnage over Clary's shoulder. "I'm hungry too. Wanna shoot me something, bud?"   
  
"Eat your rations, man, no one's paying me to hunt game for you fuckers," he kicked Jace from behind, to get him moving back along the path.   
  
"Nafah's definitely spoiled," Jace pouted, pushing loose hair behind the tell-tale tip of a half-elven ear.   
  
Clary was as green as they come, Alec decided, as he descended into the brush to retrieve his arrow before Nafah cut herself on it. They definitely needed more recruits though. Lord Valentine had been churning out all sorts of horrors from the west, he'd fully taken the Bathwoods now, and the elven population of the area had started to trickle out into the Settled Lands-- the Mortal Cup having transformed them into twisted, mindless trolls, burning, smashing, even eating the free peoples that speckled the lands between the elvish Bathwoods and the first human bastion, Lightwood Keep. The rest of the elves were enslaved by Valentine's occupying forces. He led a giant pack of bewitched goblins that he controlled with his smaller cadre of warlocks.   
  
It was only a matter of time before all the elves were turned, with things as they were.   
  
Alec only half believed that he and his siblings (Jace was family, whatever his parentage) had been sent on the Southeast patrol route because it was of strategic importance, the three of them had seen far more action at the Keep itself. The villages along its path were small and had no garrison, but were close enough to the front that they were still in danger. Basically, Maryse and Robert wanted their children safe, but not so safe they'd get any ideas about disobeying orders.   
  
To be honest, things were getting dire enough that there was no real lack of trouble out here...   
  
"Fire," Alec said, stopping abruptly.   
  
As twilight fell, there was a different glow from the town ahead, the ruddy light in the air going unnatural as the smell of smoke hit them in a sudden burst. The wind had changed.   
  
"Shit," said Jace. "Get ready for a fight."   
  
Clary went whiter than usual, but she gripped at her daggers with determination.   
  
Alec exchanged an understanding glance with Isabelle, who nodded, leaning down to whisper to her pet. Nafah would be Clary's interference against whatever they came upon down there. Usually that was Nafah's job when it came to Alec, a distraction to keep melee combatants from bearing down on him. This battle would require more of him than usual, but it was necessary until they knew how Clary would fare in a real fight.   
  
They found a ridge, good cover with a good view. Jace would charge in first, once they spotted the threat, bearing down with his shield while the rest of them flanked.   
  
What they found, however, as they reached the ridge, was a bit daunting. A shuddering avian cry filled the air and Nafah went sideways on reflex, arching up, her ears back.   
  
The monstrous creature was feathered, in a way, but it was more fire than feathers, and its flesh and beak were black as char. It had perched on the tallest building of the tiny town, its sharp claws digging into what was thankfully clay shingles, and not thatching, like the other rooftops, a half dozen of which were already smoking or fully on fire. The beast took flight, suddenly, circling.   
  
"It's a hippogryph," Izzy narrowed her eyes. "Was, anyway. It's corrupted, Valentine must have used the Cup on it…"   
  
"Its twice the size of a hippogryph, what the hell," Jace shook his head, gritting his teeth.   
  
"How do I even attack that thing," Clary stared.   
  
"We'll need to get its attention to get it to the ground," Jace replied. "I won't be useful here except as a shield and distraction, Clary, throwing daggers only, you won't be safe getting close enough for a stab, Izzy, how does your whip hold up to a flame?"   
  
"I have the right enchantment," Izzy carved a rune into it while it was still a staff, "I can restrain it."   
  
"Good. Mostly we're gonna have to rely on Alec."   
  
"I need a good jugular shot, or maybe three. Clary, go for a hamstring, its too big, you won't get deep enough with throwing daggers."   
  
Clary nodded, a little too hard. She looked okay. Afraid, but she was with them. Alec's estimation of her rose slightly.   
  
"Nafah stay out of it, you can't help here," Izzy said, resting a hand on the beast as it made an unhappy noise. "Fine. Run behind and make a fuss if it gets too close to Jace, but then get out fast. I don't want  _ you _ to be dinner."   
  
"Alright," Jace nodded. "I'm heading in to bait, give me a count of ten, then follow."   
  
They all nodded.   
  
The fire beast descended again, into the central square.   
  
They were all halfway down into the village when a strange sound stopped them in their tracks, a cracking like the ice of a lake in the first days of springtime.   
  
"What the fuck?" Alec's eyebrows pulled together.   
  
A harsh winter wind blew them all back onto their asses.   
  
A lone robed figure stood in the square, a white swirling storm blowing around him, an unnatural sphere of winter that tightened and then spread wide and erratic, while the man inside moved almost as though he was dancing… a strange and powerful waltz that seemed to keep the storm in control, circling him erratically. The flaming beast tried to get at the mage, going for a peck, but recoiled at the icy bite of the storm, its head plumage snuffing into char, half of it disappearing on the wind as it screeched in pain.   
  
Apparently, they were late to the party…   
  
"Go! While its distracted!" Jace signaled the fan out from ahead of them.   
  
Alec bounded behind one house and got a clear shot from the other side, facing right up its neck. It was four times the height of a man, and Alec almost wondered if a single arrow would even slow it down.   
  
He nocked an arrow, and waited for it to twist its head just so…    
  
There.   
  
The shot flew true and the creatures head fell to one side from the blow.   
  
Dead on. But it only made it angry. Who knew if this thing even had a jugular anymore.   
  
The bird beast turned, angrily scanning for the source of the shot, but Alec was already gone. It gave Izzy the chance to slip behind it, using her whip to pull one of its legs out from under it. Clary got a dagger deep in the joint of the back leg closer to Alec, leaving the monster scrambling, trying to take flight without any forward momentum.   
  
Clary grinned wide.   
  
Not totally useless. Alright, then.   
  
With the creature suddenly disabled, the man in the center of the ice storm took full advantage, in a rolling, athletic movement forward, he let the full blast follow him through as he ducked down and let it blow over him.   
  
The beast took the full brunt, and its rolling flames extinguished completely, as the creature cried in agony.   
  
The gambit left the slim magician in a vulnerable position, however, as a very large, angry, wet, cold monster with two good legs scrambled to punish the offence.   
  
Jace flew in front of the mage, fending off beak and claw and getting a few satisfying knocks in with his sword.   
  
It was always a good day for Alec when Jace actually got a chance to hit something, it was hell putting him to bed that night otherwise. The endless shadowboxing, invasive questions about Alec's personal life... from the way Jace started to struggle under the weight of the beasts pecks, he'd sleep like a baby tonight.   
  
Izzy had done a full circle, now, and got the beast by the neck with her whip, right opposite of Alec, because Alec was her favorite brother. It gave Alec another free shot, almost splitting the last arrow down the middle, but the beast still thrashed, tough skinned.   
  
The broad wild movement knocked Jace to the ground, too close to the enemy.   
  
Alec grabbed for another arrow, but the shot wasn't open, and he couldn't get to where it was. He took an eye shot instead, in an effort to keep the creature off its game. It's shriek was chilling and gruesome lava bubbling up from the socket.   
  
The mysterious warlock was rising to his feet again, eyeing the last shot thoughtfully, and the two arrows lodged deep in the creatures neck. It was mostly unaffected, the wound barely dripping, but the arrows smoked faintly, as if ready to burst into flame.   
  
The hippogryph was starting to glow again, like the fire would reemerge any moment. If it did, Jace and the mage were dead, and Izzy in deep shit.   
  
Alec circled frantically, scrambling to get in position.   
  
Suddenly, there was a series of complicated gestures from the slim magician, and a giant blue hand coalesced into existence, the warlocks own hand shaking with the force of it as he stretched it forward, in mimicry.   
  
It didn't go to strangle the beast, like Alec was expecting. Instead, it just delicately plucked the pair of arrows out, and abruptly lava spurted wildly from the wounds, the beast shrieking and losing all control. It flailed, but the torrent didn't stop, only broke the wound open harder, the reaction spread and spread, until it hadn't any charred skin left, flopping to the ground where it burned and hardened into a misshapen, morbid half-statue.   
  
Alec ran out of hiding, helping the mage pull Jace back from the sweltering mess. Jace'd gotten pretty banged up, and was slapping sparks eating at his breeches.   
  
Alec stared at their savior.   
  
He was olive-skinned, human, seemingly of eastern origin, and painted like a damn peacock, dressed in vibrant carmine silk and all manner of complicated, precious ornaments.   
  
He looked… amused?   
  
"Well, that was exciting," the man said, watching the grisly scene as if it were a roaring campfire, utterly pleased with himself, wiping sweat from his brow in the most refined, dainty way possible.   
  
Alec swallowed. The man was absolutely stunning, beautiful, even, bathed in the glow of fire and twilight. The purse of his lips pulled Alec's attention, inappropriately.   
  
"That's… one word for it," Alec replied, totally thrown. "…Thank you," Alec managed to say, after a moment. "That was impressive."   
  
The mage looked up at him, then paused, eyeing Alec up and down with the strangest expression, this little flittering smile, with a more solid heat just behind it.   
  
Alec's stomach dropped about a mile into the ground.   
  
"Yeah man," Jace agreed, rubbing at the back of his head, checking for blood, and completely missing the moment that was happening, "You totally saved our asses."   
  
"The feeling's absolutely mutual," the mage didn't look at Jace, scanning Alec's features for much too long of a moment, then eyeing Alec's bow and quiver with a slight smile. "You're an excellent shot."   
  
Alec felt his face go hot. It was probably the lava.


	2. The First Bite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I updated this, that's crazy. I have a bunch of it written, I just fiddle a lot, and so it takes a while for me to update. More is coming, slowly.
> 
> It's weird, Magnus in this is kind of a mishmash of every magical type from everything I've ever played or read or seen, so don't think about it too hard, when he rests overnight to get his MANA back? I dunno. It seemed like the closest thing to how it seems to work for him on the show. He's definitely not like a D&D sorc or wizard, but he does get to do like Bigby's stuff and Entangle, cause fuck it.

"The feeling's absolutely mutual," the mage didn't look at Jace, scanning Alec's features for much too long of a moment, then eyeing Alec's bow and quiver with a slight smile. "You're an excellent shot."

Alec felt his face go hot. It was probably the lava.

After a good solid moment where Alec failed to say anything, mouth opening in repeated aborted attempts, Magnus smiled wider at Alec's inability to take a compliment, and the crinkle of his eyes glittered, golden.

"I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Magnus Bane," he offered a hand covered in intricate rings, bracelets, criss-crossing leather and metal bands.

Alec wondered how much of the accessory collection was enchanted and what they all did, and if some were just for show. When Alec did finally remember to take the man's arm in respect, he was thankful that most of his own forearm was tied up in leather bracers and gloves, fearing the effect that touching that much of the strangely fey man’s skin might have on him. As it was, the open fingers of Alec's gloves left him in dragging contact with the smooth, brown flesh on the inside of Magnus elbow, and it was all Alec could think about.

"Alec Lightwood," he managed.

Magnus' mouth formed an 'o'. That was not a good face. Magnus got a faintly sheepish expression, taking a step back, "Like… Lightwood Keep, Lightwood."

"I'm the heir of Lord and Lady Lightwood, yes," Alec found himself slightly indignant, though he wasn't sure why, and his voice got deeply professional. "This is Jace Herondale, their ward, and my sister Isabelle Lightwood is the druid."

Jace gave a curious look, surprised Alec was taking the lead like that, being the face. He hated talking to strangers. Usually he made Jace or Izzy do it.

Izzy and Clary were making their way over.

"And the redhead with the daggers?" Magnus pointed, amused for some reason.

Alec rolled his eyes, rubbing the heel of his hand along an eyebrow, muttering, "...some girl Jace thought was hot."

"Oh my god, Magnus?!" Clary shrieked, as she ran laughing into the sorcerer's arms.

...Alec fucking hated this girl.

"My little biscuit, what on earth are you doing all the way up here?" Magnus twirled her and held her by the shoulders, laughing.

“Oh.” Clary's face changed instantly, tears welling while she tried to keep her grin in place. "I… it's, a long story.. um… you see… my Mother is…" she couldn't speak, chin starting to shake.

"Oh, Jocelyn…” Magnus’ eyes went wide, but he stopped Clary, “It's okay, its okay, you don't need to tell me the whole of it now. We've some fires to put out, come with me and we'll talk once we can get you a hearth and some hard ale, alright?" he took her hand.

Clary nodded, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand, "Yes, yeah, thank you…"

Summoning a small rain cloud was fairly simple work, but getting it where it needed to be was a pain.

"Weather magic is the absolute worst," Magnus informed them, head over his shoulder, trying to control the direction of the wind with wide, billowing movements and great frustration. "Nothing ever stops moving, you see."

The little storm cloud was indeed trying to make its way out of the village for the fifth time. Magnus puffed it back the other way, towards the next fire. With the help of the few villagers who weren't deathly afraid of mages and some buckets, the village was put almost aright fairly quickly.

The tavernkeep offered them five free rooms, which they gratefully accepted. Alec quietly paid the man anyway. The tavern didn’t stink of piss or at least the thick scent of ale covered it, no mean feat, Alec figured he deserved some recompense for that sort of effort. The keep also told Alec of a courier that had been in from the Keep, two days before. He'd left war reports for them, in expectation of their next stop in Fernvale.

When Alec finally got to the table, Clary'd already been crying for a while, apparently her mother had been killed quite recently, and her stepfather had gone subsequently missing. Explained why she was so eager to pick up blades. Magnus was apologizing profusely, blaming himself for not being there.

"You can't protect everyone all the time, Magnus," Clary shook her head. "If it makes you feel better? The fire charm you left us saved my life."

He shook his head, managing a dark, "Little comfort, honestly."

"Well tell me how you really feel," she glared almost managing playful, through her tears.

"You know what I mean, biscuit."

"I know." She leaned forward, "I also know that Luke went to fight, I'm sure of it, he must already be at the front, and I have to help. For my mother."

Jace touched her forearm gently, and she put a hand over it, smiling faintly.

Magnus smiled but it shrank, as he considered Clary. "Well I know that your mother would kill me for letting you rush into danger like this…" he sighed. "But I'm certainly not going to stop you, either. Honestly, I think my only real option is to go with you to keep an eye on you."

Alec choked on his drink a bit.

"That is… if your fearless leader is okay with me tagging along?" Magnus raised an eyebrow at Alec. "I was already on my way to the front to see how I could contribute. Valentine threatens all of us. I have to assume the red tape of the typical enlistment process can be abrogated in desperate times such as these?"

Alec was hyperaware of the way the back of Magnus' hand was brushing faintly against his own neck, and he looked away, sharply.

To Jace, who smiled and raised his eyebrows, annoying in the way only Jace could be, "Yeah, boss, what'll it be?"

Alec wasn't in charge, per se, maybe only officially, being the oldest of the siblings. But the three of them were a democracy, if one were to name it. If occasionally a slightly violent one. A few disagreements (mostly ones involving their parents) had even been solved by drawing straws. Alec did very rarely claim veto power, and usually did so with an enormous amount of salt.

Considering the fuss Alec had put up about Clary potentially being a spy, this was the point at which both Jace and Isabelle steeled themselves to defend Magnus, who obviously would be the best thing to happen to their little party in a long time, and after that last freak of nature they'd fought, apparently vital to their mere survival.

"Come on, man, you know we need him…" Jace started preemptively.

Alec tapped his fingernails on his clay cup, chewing a bit on nothing. "Fine," he said. "I'm not explaining the new additions to Robert and Maryse, though," he pointed at Jace.

"Easy," Jace grinned. Surprisingly easy.

"Daddy loves new recruits," Isabelle smiled ironically, because their mother was incredibly paranoid about them when it came to magic users.

Alec imitated her smile, squinting, and shook his head, despairingly.

"Best news I've had in weeks," Clary hugged Magnus in celebration. "It'll be just like that time you took us to Idris."

"Hopefully less goats," smirked Magnus.

“Bite your tongue. You loved the goats, and they loved you,” Clary grinned, her mood significantly bolstered.

“Only the parts of me they could chew on. Well, now that that's settled,” Magnus rose, setting his hands down on the table, “if you'll all excuse me, it's been a very, very long day, and if I don't get a full 10 hours of beauty rest, my spellbook just does not get on with me the next day. Don't stay up too late, kids."

Which was an absurd thing to say, because he barely looked older than Clary, but it was for some reason still charming.

“What we don’t get to hear the goat story?” Jace protested.

“I’ll tell you later,” Clary shoved him.

Alec watched Magnus go a second too long, the shape of his narrow hips and long legs under wispy silk, and Isabelle caught it, getting a suspicious little smile.

-

Ten minutes later, Jace had bundled Clary off to the bar, in a completely transparent attempt to get her alone, leaving Isabelle with her chance to pry at Alec's ever closed-off psyche.

"So… Magnus seems very interesting," Izzy observed, not even close to casually.

"Oh god, I know the whole kohl eye thing is really working for you, but please don't try to bang him, those two are bad enough," Alec pointed at how Jace was unsubtly sliding his hand over the back of Clary's chair.

"What?!" Izzy laughed, in disbelief. "Alec, come on. You have to have noticed."

"Noticed what," Alec was too busy poring over the reports he'd retrieved to notice anything at all.

Izzy didn't buy it for a second, "Raziel, you're dense. He's been eyefucking you since the second we met him."

Alec's eyes went wide, "Magnus?"

Sure, Alec had noticed something, but he didn't think anyone else had. Panic started to hit him, wondering if Jace had noticed. Or Clary, shit.

"Just relax, he'll figure out you're straight soon enough," Izzy brushed it off, but eyed him carefully, afterwards.

"..Right," Alec calmed down and nodded, going back to his reports, not really following a word of them, because he was thinking too hard about his every interaction with Magnus, and whether it had been eyefucky.

Then he started thinking about how Magnus had looked in the soft glow of the firebeast they'd brought down together, the clever curve of his brow rising in pure mischief.

Not together, together. Plenty of other people had helped. Christ, what the fuck was happening to him right now. He had reports to read.

Izzy put a hand on his arm, giving him one of those little squeezes that were meant to be comforting but for some reason uncontrollably reminded Alec of Maryse.

Izzy yawned, "I'm going to get Nafah settled in the stable-- bring her some food to make sure she doesn't get any ideas about the hens. Get some sleep, big brother."

-

Alec wasn't really sure why he knocked on Magnus' door, instead.

"Come in," Magnus called, musically.

"Magnus," he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

And completely forgot what he was going to say.

Magnus turned, immediately pleased to see him. His robe was half-open and he'd lost most of his jewelry and accessories, piled neatly into a large case that he hadn't had on his person at any point previously.

God, he was just obscene.

"Bagspace," Magnus read Alec's mind, incorrectly. "A necessity for a traveling mage, can't be weighing myself down with all that extra equipment. I snap it in and out of this dimension whenever I like. It's.." Magnus pursed his lips, "..mostly reliable."

There was so much skin just everywhere, it was everywhere. His collarbones were right there and Alec couldn't seem to stop glancing down, to the entire stretch of Magnus taut neck and chest down to where the sharply defined line of his abdomen disappeared in the loose criss cross of his robe.

"..Cool," said Alec, still a bit confused. Very confused. Maybe aroused? He developed a growing suspicion that he was aroused.

Magnus smiled wide, stepping a bit closer, "You're a very terse man, you know that? I like that, it's clean, efficient. Never had the skill myself, more of a babbler..." Magnus touched his ear with an uncharacteristic shyness.

The orange light from the fire danced against the exposed bits of Magnus torso. He was definitely too fit for a wizard, but then again Alec had never seen a mage who's spells were so… physical. Alec's heart was beating wildly in his throat, his ears.

"Um," Alec managed, "I just wanted to thank you again, for what you did today. If you hadn't been there…"

Magnus sniffed out a little laugh, "If you hadn't been there, I would have been a smouldering pile of ashes in ten more minutes. You didn't see the first half of that fight. Defensive magic is not my forte. I'd never even tried to make a shield from an ice storm before, and I have to be honest, I'm not sure I'd do it again. I'm not really built to handle the cold."

Magnus touched himself then, wrapping an arm around his body, where his robe was slipping even further open.

That was definitely a nipple. It was just there, peeking out, it was perked and so, so distracting.

Alec couldn't breathe. When had Magnus gotten so close… he could see the individual flecks of glitter across his eyelids.

"Well, we…" Alec searched for words, pushing his hands into his pockets to obscure the reaction Magnus was having on his body, "..we made a good team out there. Anyway. Uh. I should let you sleep."

Magnus nodded, respectfully, his head tilting to one side, "Goodnight, Alexander. Is… Alec short for Alexander?"

"Yeah, but…" Alec shook his head, unable to help a small, confused smile, "no one calls me that."

Magnus gave this little quirk of his lips and said, "Goodnight, Alexander."

Alec blinked twice. "…Goodnight."

Alec left as quick as he could, shoving his way into his own room, claiming the one at the far end of the hall so he could masturbate furiously before anyone else took a room close enough to hear him. It barely took a minute, face pushed into the door, the image of Magnus lips and skin vivid, printed on the back of Alec's eyelids. He came hard, to the thought of Magnus, lithe and muscular, stretched on the floor in front of the fire, arching into his hands, coming all over Alec's fingers.

“Shit...”

It left Alec feeling ashamed and dirty. He washed up quickly.

-

Alec couldn't even look Magnus in the eye the next day.

"God, you're so grumpy," Clary complained, after Alec snapped at her for the third time about the journey preparations. "Someone needs to get laid," she asided not quietly enough to Magnus whose eyebrows shot up at the blush Alec completely failed to hide by stalking angrily out the door.

As they started northward, Magnus gently pulled Clary back from the group far enough to chastise her about the comment.

"…so can you see how a young man in Alec’s position might need to avoid romantic entanglements? Certainly not like your charming blonde Lothario up there. Jace doesn't have the Lightwood last name and can have as many bastards as he likes, right?"

"I mean, I guess…" Clary looked contrite, "I just wish Alec wouldn't take it out on me, you know?"

"I know, Biscuit."

"Can't you just seduce him or something? Bastard-free!" Clary proposed, cutely. "All problems solved."

Hmph. Magnus almost thought there might be something to that, but then again, he'd gotten a vibe of admiration from Alec, more than anything. Magnus' skills as a magician were nothing to scoff at, possibly Alec was just overly impressed by magic. A lot of people were like that, just wanted to see Magnus do card tricks all night.

Alec didn't really seem the type, though.

But then, maybe Alec hadn't even considered Magnus as anything but an excellent asset to his team, and he really was as much business on the inside as he was on the outside. His little visit last night could've just been a small trust-building mission with a new ally that he'd set for himself. That seemed very like him…

Magnus couldn't help watching Alec in the distance ahead of them, leather breeches binding across his long thighs as he walked. His gait was tense, even now.

Magnus bit his lip. Wishful thinking was tempting.

"Yes, I'm sure the Lord and Lady Lightwood would just love that… definitely conducive to lots of little heirs."

Clary stopped, staring at Magnus. Magnus kept walking, and she ran after him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you have a crush on him?!" Clary had the decency to whisper scream this revelation she was having. "I totally caught that, holy shit, Magnus, you have the absolute worst taste. Last time it was that Harpy Queen, Camille? And now some douchey, straight son of a lord who hates everything and everyone..."

“Really?” Magnus frowned at her, then tilted his head, smiling coyly, and shrugging, "That's funny, he's been perfectly pleasant to me. Even stopped by last night to say what a good team he thought we made."

"Oh.” Clary blinked. “Oh,” her voice dropped an octave. “Oh noooooo," Clary was horrified. "He's not straight at all, is he?"

"We'll see…" Magnus shrugged, smiling a little wider.

"Oh my god," Clary buried her face in her hands.

-

It was deeply unfortunate that Alec's training as a ranger had resulted in a Listen rune being tattooed behind his left ear since he was fifteen. He could hear the quietest footsteps from fifty paces, the growl of a wolf from a hundred, and private conversations from even further. Important for tracking, hunting, avoiding ambushes, and preventing Alec Lightwood from ever, ever relaxing.


	3. Splash Damage

From a young age, Alec had rubbed people the wrong way. He was too blunt, too harsh, too honest, he didn't notice when he had crossed a line until he was four feet past it. He couldn't take a joke, and no one else seemed to take anything as seriously as he did. Except maybe his mother. He took after her in most of these things. And he saw how it damaged her relationships, how people held back, weren't honest with her, as a result.

Sometimes, especially when he was young, he thought it was the rest of the world that was the problem, that he was the right amount of honest, direct, and that everyone else was just wasting their own time on bullshit.

So when Alec was told in full what was required of a Ranger Initiate, permanent runes for enhanced sight, reflexes, and hearing-- he hadn't balked for a moment. It had sounded like everything he wanted, even knowing about what he was told were the “downsides”. To be able to know the honest opinions of people he had just met, the second they thought they had walked out of earshot? It sounded like nothing but a solution to him.

Alec's wayfinder, a wiry old screech owl of a ranger who’d taken an unexpected liking to him, had once slapped him right across his skull for even suggesting that hearing that sort of raucous honesty from dusk till dawn was anything but a burden. She supposedly spent 90 percent of her time at sojourn because ‘trees don't fucking gossip’. He knew exactly what she meant by that now.

The irony was that he could never have that. A life of sojourn. His duties to the fiefdom would always come first. Court. Troop movements. Diplomacy. Patrols. And then one day he would be Lord Lightwood. It was people, people, more people, for the rest of his life.

The worst part was that strong bent toward solitude was the first thing Alec had been drawn to, when he'd picked the Ranger’s Guild. In some strange, fantastical version of his life, he could simply disappear and live off the land, if only they’d let him.

There were many times… but he’d loved his family too much to ever let the thought settle into anything real.

Fantasies of solitude had certainly panned out for him. Even out on the road, their nimble three man party had nearly doubled in size, in just weeks, and the growing din was already driving him crazy. He and his siblings alone on the road had been bliss, the familiar bickering was like a white noise for him, it kept him grounded, helped him sleep.

Now he was on edge all the time. Everything that popped out of Magnus’ mouth pulled at Alec’s attention, made his stomach bubble nervously and his shoulders pull tight.

Magnus liked men.

Women too, apparently, but it was the first bit that had Alec wound up tight like a length of rope.

Now that Alec knew for sure, it was basically all he could think about, imagine who Magnus had been with and how, what he did with other men, how they’d touched him, how they'd...

He needed to stop thinking about this.

Apparently Magnus could fucking smell it on him, and Alec felt completely transparent, like if he let go for a second, if he looked at Magnus too long or took a breath too sharp, Magnus would know and then...

"May I have your quiver for a moment, Alexander?" Magnus approached him as they stopped at a stream to rest around midday, eager and cheerful.

"It's Alec," Alec replied, coldly. "Why?"

Magnus obviously noticed the change in behavior, blinking, but brushed past it easily. "There's an arrow enchantment I've been meaning to try out. With your permission?"

Alec's face softened, only slightly. "Start with one." He plucked it out and made sure not to let Magnus' hand touch his.

"Naturally."

Alec couldn't help but stare as Magnus’ fingers, arms, and body twisted, fluid, airy, in an expanding motion. The arrow floated upwards and started to glow. Magnus was whispering something, and his eyes went gold and oddly feline.

Alec's breath caught. His heart pounded, and he tightened a fist and forced himself to breathe evenly.

"There," Magnus smiled, pleased, as the arrow descended into his palm, glowing faintly. Alec tried to reach for it, but Magnus withheld it, "Hold on, I just want to make sure it won't activate prematurely…"

Magnus started doing a series of strange things, dropping the arrow in the dirt from various angles, smacking it against a tree a little bit. Rubbing it up and down?

Alec was blushing again and couldn't remotely explain why.

"Oh my god," Alec could hear Clary saying to herself, as she facepalmed about thirty paces away.

Alec bristled.

"Alright," Magnus finally returned it, satisfied. "So safe I'm not entirely certain I enchanted it at all." His eyebrows pinched, cutely.

He handed it back to Alec, who took it with great suspicion. It had taken on a reddish hue.

"Test run?" Magnus was all smiles. "Pick a tree near the water please."

Alec nocked it, feeling self-conscious, but his motor memory kicked in easily, and the arrow flew beautifully and lodged into the bark of a young oak tree.

"Wh-" was all Alec had time to say before the tree blew apart, the pieces it had broken into flaming and toppling. The trunk had been a solid eight inches across.

Magnus said, "oh dear," catching the flaming bits up with giant blue hands, dunking them in the stream and splashing a bit of water up the bank to prevent a brushfire.

"Holy fuck," deadpanned Alec, even as a bit of water splashed him in the face.

Izzy was laughing hysterically.

"Sweet baby Raziel, can you make my sword do that?" Jace asked, not even a little ironically.

"That… doesn't… sound safe?" Magnus replied, almost not perfectly put together in this way that made Alec develop the strange urge to somehow reproduce the effect. "A tad more dramatic than I was expecting, shall I water it down with the rest of them?"

"No," Alec immediately said. A thick plate armor would do just about as well as that tree, maybe better, and he needed a strategy for that sort of combatant. "Do… that. Do exactly that again, it's perfect."

"My pleasure," Magnus beamed, circling round and gathering ten arrows out of the quiver on his back without really asking. "You'll probably want to keep a stock of normal arrows as well, especially for close quarters,” Magnus circled back round to face Alec, dragging the last arrow out with a flourish, gesturing with it, “Wouldn't want these to mess up that pretty face of yours."

Alec immediately frowned, glancing round, and Magnus caught it with disappointment.

Jace laughed easily, missing the moment again, "Hey what about my pretty face, I'm the one who's gonna be dodging all the flying goblin teeth up close."

"But you're the type that can pull off a few scars, Jace darling," Magnus smarmed.

"I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment?" Jace shot back, grinning, apparently totally comfortable with Magnus' faintly effete sensibilities.

Alec's frown cut deeper at the interaction between Jace and Magnus. It wasn't quite jealousy, he felt, not totally, it was more resentment that it was so easy for Jace to ignore Magnus' flirting.

Isabelle agreed, "He's right, though, Alec's features are too fine."

"Hey, what does that mean?" Alec didn't like that at all.

"Wait, and my features are what.. rough?" Jace threw up his hands, his play offense also getting close to actual offense. "My features are fine as fuck." He pointed to his face as evidence.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Clary interjected, "just relax, guys, it's more like-- Jace could probably wear an eye patch without looking silly. Alec couldn't."

All five of them considered this with silent frowns.

"Yeah, okay," Alec agreed, at the same time as Jace acquiesced, "I see what you're saying."

Magnus asided ironically to Isabelle, "Are they always so vain?"

"Always," Isabelle rolled her eyes, taking Magnus’ arm because they were now best friends. "You have no idea."

Clary snickered, poking at the boys to get them moving again, while they exchanged put upon looks.

"So Magnus," Izzy pried, while Magnus enchanted and walked simultaneously. "Tell us a little more about yourself, where's home?"

Magnus laughed at this, "Honestly, I couldn't give you a hard location since I finished apprenticeship at eight years old, back in Berukir. I barely remember the school, lots of severe elderly types in heavy robes. My mother trained me from there, she was probably a better resource than anyone else on the islands. Or on the mainland for that matter. So we didn't need to put down roots, we just flitted from place to place from then on, making our living off enchanting in whatever town we came upon."

Isabelle didn't ask the obvious question about where his mother was now. "Sounds nice. Sounds familiar, we're barely ever home, now that we've all grown. Just isn't space there for all of the Lightwoods to live without murdering each other."

"Isn't your home a giant castle?" Magnus brows pinched.

"You know what I mean."

"Probably. But I have to say I haven't seen you try to murder your brothers once."

"Give it time," called Jace.

"Have you ever been to the far desert?" Izzy pressed.

"I don't mean to brag, but think of a place, and I've probably been there," Magnus tilted his head.

"Even to the southern swamps? Who would want to?"

"I'll tell you a secret, they cover the stench with the most amazing spices. If you've never had a traditional Porindee porridge you haven't truly lived..."

Alec watched Izzy get utterly charmed by the warlock for the next half hour, hoping nobody caught the wistful look on his face.

-

Even Nafah was best friends with Magnus by the time they camped for the night. She wanted to sleep in his tent, apparently.

"You don't even sleep in my tent," Izzy was deeply offended.

Nafah yawned vocally, and stretched.

"I don't care how nice it smells!"

Magnus' tent did smell weirdly nice, Alec observed, as he passed by it. It was also needlessly elaborate and beautiful. And far too big for a single person.

And… was it just him, or did it look bigger on the inside?

Bagspace, Alec sniffed a quiet laugh.

Nafah gazed mournfully at the tent and gave a low bale.

"All the more reason for you not to mess it up with your smell and your claws, and your smelly claws. It is silk, goddamnit," declared Isabelle.

"It is silk," Magnus agreed, happily, poking his head out. "Nafah's welcome to share, I wouldn't kick out any of you," his eyes roamed and landed on Alec, behind Izzy.

Alec blushed hard and looked away, thinking uncontrollably about Magnus’ lithe body pinning him into a bedroll, until he stalwartly shoved the image to the back of his brain.

"We couldn't impose," Isabelle demurred, without much weight.

"Speak for yourself," said Clary, already halfway inside. "He's got a magical lute that plays itself in here, it's amazing! Also booze?"

"Almost always," Magnus confirmed. He held up a warning finger, "Also it's not a lute, it's a charango, there's a difference."

This was how Alec and Jace each got their own tent for the night, both girls taking up Magnus' offer.

The two men sat side by side by the fire as the light waned, listening to soft plinging and giggling from inside the tent.

"...So... did he just steal your girl?" Alec raised an eyebrow.

"There's no way he likes girls," Jace dismissed immediately. "…right?" he said, with slightly less confidence.

Alec shrugged, helpfully, and didn't take an enormous amount of pleasure in Jace's concerned look.

“Oh come on, you have to have overheard something.”

Alec shrugged again, in a way that made it pretty obvious he was just fucking with Jace now.

“Piece of shit,” Jace shoved him, “What’s even the point of super-hearing if you don’t use it for evil, huh?”

Alec smirked.

-

Alec laid on his back, hands behind his head, in his tent. He could hear Magnus telling a story about the time when he was sixteen that he enchanted a cask of wine with the ability to speak.

"And then the cask of wine told me I was an arrogant little fuck for doing something like this, which I absolutely was, though in my defense I was very drunk… and then it went on and on about how it used to be the most beautiful tree… I, of course, apologized profusely, and Clary here painted it with an exquisite forest scene, until it felt better. It still asked me to undo the spell, though. Too bad, because that tavern really could have used the tourist business..."

Alec closed his eyes, for a long moment completely overcome with loneliness. He admitted it to himself, for just a moment, that he wanted to be in that tent, wanted it all… Magnus’ persistent attempts to impress him, to tease him, to flirt with him. He wanted it so badly.

"So Izzy… about Alec…" said Magnus, his tone inappropriately curious.

Alec bolted upright, his heart trying to push through his ribs. Shit.

"Uh.. You know Alec can probably hear everything you’re saying right now, right?" Izzy interrupted immediately, because she was an excellent sister. "What the fuck. Don’t you know anything? He's a ranger, dumbass, he has a permanent Listen rune, he could hear the sound of you pissing even if you ran way off into the woods!"

Unfortunately that also meant Clary and Magnus were suddenly aware that absolutely everything they’d discussed today was fully audible to Alec Lightwood.

"Shiiit," said Clary, bursting into a full-on giggle fit, totally plastered.

"Oh my god," Magnus despaired, quietly.

"Oh man, did you guys already embarrass yourselves that badly? Honestly, I'm shocked he hasn't stormed in here to tell us all to shut the fuck up, as it is. Sorry, big brother! We're going to bed now, honest."

Alec smiled wanly. Good ol' Izzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am still writing this, I promise! Like I have porn written, I promise I will at least get to the porn, and what more can you really ask of fan fiction, amiright? :D there's also like lightning birds and giant spiders and touching emotional shit, which is slightly less good then porn but still pretty good, I think


	4. What's a Pirate without a Ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO. I like Raphael. But I sort of made Raphael a villain, sort of. Also a pirate? I just really don't even like vampires, is that allowed? Please don't kill me with your fangirl death rays. I had a fangirl death ray once, but I lost it in a game of cards. I'm still updating this, I swear it is happening. I was honestly just sort of stuck on this bit, of all things? I dunno, fight scenes are hard. But sexy.

After that night, Magnus stopped flirting with Alec entirely. To Alec's (surprising) disappointment.

He had thought it would be a relief.

It was not.

Magnus seemed quite embarrassed, if such a thing were possible, avoiding Alec’s eyes at all times the next day.

And somehow now all Alec wanted was for Magnus to look at him.

Alec still felt a constant sense of temptation. Just the way Magnus moved was enough to get him thinking about the filthiest things. He had this way about him, the way he swayed and twisted, the way he walked almost like he was gliding, like he was this close to stepping off the ground and floating away, and only stayed stuck to the dirt below to keep from upsetting the congenitally earthbound. It gave Alec the strange urge to tug on his distractingly loose wraps and half-robes, keep him safe, keep him close.

Fuck, he needed to stop.

At least Magnus backing off did make Alec feel less self conscious, in a certain way. He was less worried that anyone had noticed his interest in the warlock, wasn’t on his guard so much.

Which also made it easier to actually talk to Magnus. In a totally platonic manner. Less stuttering, at least. Alec disengaged from conversation less, probably...

"So I have to know,” Magnus said, an hour into the morning’s journey, the next day, “How on earth did you ever convince the Lord and Lady Lightwood to let all of you get formal guild training? Shouldn't you all have stayed locked up in an ivory tower where it's nice and safe?"

"You're not wrong," Alec raised and dropped his eyebrows. "It probably never would have happened, if it weren't traditional. Every Lightwood gets to choose a local guild for their mentorship. It would bring shame on the family, if we didn't."

Magnus frowned, "So you were actually forced into training..."

"Uh, maybe other generations of Lightwoods were," Alec twisted his lips, noncommittal.

"We couldn't wait to get out of that castle," Jace confirmed.

"I started slipping away at night to go the Grove when I was thirteen," Izzy added, full of mischief. "Mom was pretty pissed when she found out."

"It was more like our parents were forced into letting us train, than anything," Alec said. "Especially Maryse."

"But didn’t they also undergo guilding? Your father at least."

Alec nodded. "Mother, too. Guilding nets you a lot of status in Ivrey because the history is so wartorn. Everyone with two coins to rub together vies to get their sons and daughters early training in the hopes of getting them into the local guilds. Not that it helps much, the guilds are incredibly rigorous and competitive, even Robert’s brother was discharged from the Hand of Dauros, after he failed his Paladin trials, and our grandfather gave him the best training to be had. But when the reward is potential knighthood, a spot at court, or maybe even to marry into the fiefdom? People will do almost anything for even a chance at it. It's the only way up, with things the way they are. Maryse, our mother, was born to craftsmen, but she eventually became such a renowned cleric, that she was the most obvious choice to our grandfather for Robert's hand…"

“I see,” Magnus squinted, surprised.

“Robert’s no slouch either, though,” said Alec.

"Daddy took a vow of silence for seven years, for training at the Monastery," Izzy said like it was very impressive.

Magnus looked confused.

“It's part of their meditation practices. The Silent Brothers are famed for their hand-to-hand combat and defensive channeling," Alec explained. “I once saw the man take a mace to the jaw and not even bruise."

"Oh dear."

"Yeah, it's pretty boss," said Jace. "Just remember what you have to do to get it."

"Jace wouldn't make it a day," Alec ribbed.

"I'm still surprised you never went for it,” Jace said. “Seemed to suit you. And Robert pushed you at it pretty hard for a while there."

"I think Robert and Maryse have made enough decisions for me," Alec dismissed, like Jace should drop it already.

Magnus noted that Alec often used their first names, just like Jace did. Izzy didn't. Peculiar.

"Anyway," Alec changed the subject. "That's why we're out here at all, honestly, because it would be seen as shameful to keep us inside during time of war. But they certainly aren't going to let us fight on the front," he pointed out, not without some bitterness.

"Alec put up a hell of a fight to stop Maryse from sending a regiment with us," Isabelle asided specifically to Magnus, who was walking next to her, though Alec obviously heard her anyway.

"We can't spare the troops out here, she would never deploy a scouting mission that heavy in this direction otherwise, she was totally out of line," Alec dismissed.

Magnus smiled, a tad wistful, breeze ruffling gently through his hair.

-

 

Magnus was not having a crush on Alec. It wasn’t happening, and that was that. That rare split second when their eyes caught on one another, and Alec got this startled, broke-open look, before it flitted off into a hard, impassive expression and Alec looked away? It was definitely Magnus’ imagination. And he was not going to think about it.

-

The quiet broke as night fell, Alec stopping in his tracks, abruptly.

Izzy and Jace immediately stopped as well, looking worried.

He motioned them in and lowered his voice. “Bandits. They’re camped. They don’t know we’re here,” he tilted his head.

“We could go around them,” Jace offered. “We don’t need to risk it.”

Alec meanwhile was hearing this worrisome conversation:

“I could play the one about Xantath the Destroyer again?” the voice was muffled, like someone had tried to gag the person speaking, but the speaker hadn't really understood the purpose of a gag.

“Kid, if you weren’t worth a very paltry amount of money once we reach port, I would have slit your throat ten times over, and I’m starting to think it’s not even worth it.”

“But I mean... think how much time you already spent not murdering me…” the gagged person tried, a bit frantically.

“The sunk cost fallacy isn’t gonna save you, pendejo.”

“But didn’t you like the drinking song? You said you did. It's my first original..”

“Did I like it enough to not murder you? No, not really…”

Alec made a face. Shit.

“They have a hostage,” he explained. “They’re trafficking him.”

“What?” Clary was horrified that such a thing could happen. “We have to do something!”

“Obviously,” Alec gave her a look, like who the fuck did she think he was.

“We’ll save him, don’t worry,” Jace took the opportunity to set his hands on Clary’s shoulders.

Magnus wrinkled his nose in disgust at the exchange.

“What direction?” Izzy stroked Nafah’s collar soothingly to silence her quiet growling, eyes searching the trees.

They made a plan of attack. Alec boosted Clary up a local tree, and then jumped up after her, the two of them slipping easily through the treeline to get sight of their targets.

The bandits looked rather more like pirates, though they were a bit far inland to make that sort of pronouncement. Also too pale. There were thirteen in total, so the fight would be rough, unless they didn’t know how to use the wicked looking cutlasses they had at their waists. They had a small herd of sheep with them? And a dog, who did not like said sheep much.

The gagged hostage was next to the fire, back turned towards them, his hands tied with ropes.

Alec whispered to Clary, “Stay in position here, I’ll report back.” He pointed to his rune, “I’ll hear, if you call out their movements. You don't move unless they spot you, got it?”

Clary nodded, rolling her eyes, “I'm not an idiot.”

When Alec reached the others, they crowded in as he dropped down. “Baker’s dozen. All armed. A dog. Some sheep.”

“Sheep?” Izzy raised an eyebrow, and Nafah licked her lips. “No,” Izzy said emphatically. “Okay, maybe one after, but you can’t eat that whole thing so we’re sharing it.”

“Maybe make dinner plans after we win?” Jace suggested.

“Or not…” Izzy got a very clever look.

Alec heard Clary whispering in the distance.

“Holy fuck, I know him, Alec,” she said.

“Shit,” said Alec, to no one.

“Oh Simon, how did you end up here?”

“Shit,” said Alec again.

“What is it?” Magnus pressed.

“Clary knows the hostage.”

“Shit,” said Magnus.

“We need a plan fast, Clary's on the move.”

-

One of the sheep slowly pushed its way out from the center of the herd, hearing a few quiet bleats from the edge.

“There's something in the woods?”

“I think there's something in the woods.”

“You think there’s something in the woods?”

“There's something in the woods?”

“There's something in the woods.”

“What?”

“Help!”

“There's something in the woods, help!”

“Help! Help! There's something in the woods!”

The quiet bleats grew louder and louder, and they heard a gentle growl from their left. It was the dog. That dog was a dick, the sheep all agreed, but for the first time they were grateful for his presence.

The flock moved back, into a crescent, the dog pushing his way between the edge of the clearing and them.

“Stay together,” the dog growled, lowering its body, ears back.

-

Simon was having a rough week. Rough month. Life, come to think of it. I mean, it was nice to have all this dramatic material for his music, but it was getting a little ridiculous, he thought, eyeing the angry, murderous pirate in charge of the motley crew.

Was it weird Simon still had kind of a giant man-crush on Raphael? He was just so… like Simon had this fantasy sometimes: When they finally get to port, Raphael, like he keeps saying, tries to sell Simon like a sack of fish. He succeeds in selling Simon like a sack of fish. But then, when the buyer makes some offhand comment about how Simon’s going to get hunted for sport by a wealthy poppy baron like some sort of animal, Raphael abruptly changes his mind. Simon’s eyes go big and dark and watery like a baby deer. Then, the buyer says ‘all sales final’, and Raphael says something super cool like, ‘don’t test me or I’ll make certain this is your final sale‘ and then there is a rousing battle in which Raphael saves Simon, and adopts him as his cabin boy, and they take to sea, where Simon earns his keep as chanty-player, and slowly becomes Raphael’s best friend. Forever.

It’s possible Simon may have spent a little too much time as pirate booty, and was no longer thinking quite clearly.

The sheep are really noisy tonight. Weird.

\- 

Humans are so stupid, Nafah thought, pissing on a tree. She’d circled round the clearing housing the pack of rank brutes, to opposite where she’d left her beautiful partner Isabelle. Now Isabelle, granted, was human, and she was a goddess of the hunt, but even the rest of Isabelle’s litter was rather dense, all told. Especially that tawny one, with the ears.

They should let Isabelle make all the plans.

Nafah growled faintly, stalking left to right, watching the black trees backlit with firelight carefully for movement.

-

Raphael was at his wit's end. No one was this fucking stupid. He was starting to think this kid might actually be in love with him. What else explained the absolutely absurd number of times he had casually given Simon a chance to slip away into the night and every fucking time Raphael came back, there Simon sat, with his hapless, boy-next-door grin and his stupid stories about ninjas or whatever. Honestly, Raphael was getting too old for this shit, if this idiot was what triggered his empathy reflex now.

Yesterday, Raphael had left a knife within reaching distance of Simon, and told him, with great intent, “Don’t move,” and then gone off into the woods to take a shit.

When Raphael came back, Simon had told him with a painful amount of earnestness, “Hey, you dropped your knife,” and pointed out where it lay on the log next to him, with some very helpful directional head nodding.

Raphael’s mouth opened and it stayed that way for a bit.

“...Is this some kind of weird BDSM shit for you?” Raphael asked. “Because I’m not into that.”

Simon had given him this super puzzled look. “No, what? It’s your knife, you accidentally left it there a minute ago…”

Raphael put his face in his hands. “Dios dame fuerza…”

Raphael almost thought he could get away with just telling the crew that he was letting the idiot go, because he couldn’t possibly be worth anything. Considering the sheep were the only score they’d managed in a month, other than this kid, it was a near thing.

Those sheep… hey, what the fuck was that…

There was something going on in the woods, Bruno was going apeshit on the edge of the clearing, growling and snapping.

Raphael grabbed his weapon, approaching warily and scanning the treeline.

“What is it, boy.. If it's a fucking bird, I swear to god...”

There was a thick snarl, just audible.

That was not Bruno.

“There's some animal in the woods,” Raphael called, “Fan out, in pairs. It's this way,” he pointed, “You cover the sheep,” he directed the newest recruit.

-

“It sounds like a bear,” called Simon. “Western horn bear. They're real slow, but they can gore you good with that horn, be careful!”

“Jesus, Simon,” Clary muttered, two trees from him now.

-

Alec did not like plans like this, mostly because one piece on the board was impossible to predict. At least he knew where Clary was.

There was a shout from the other side of the clearing. Someone found Nafah.

“It’s a panther, get it!”

“Relax,” Alec heard Jace say, quietly, to Izzy, near where the pirates were wandering blind into the woods, now. “She's faster than any of these jokers.”

Alec nocked his bow.

Magnus appeared in the clearing below Alec, moving quiet but quick, his body glowing with the charge of a prepared spell. Alec scanned for anyone who might have caught sight of Magnus to keep him covered.

They had no idea, all eyes were on the woods.

The noise of Magnus’ casting would immediately give them away, so Alec lined up the first shot, hoping to take several enemies down silently before that happened.

Clary dropped from her perch, suddenly, but Alec ignored it with the sort of focus that could only come from Ranger training, instead loosing on the closest pirate.

Down.

He re-nocked in less than a second, taking another as the first hit the ground.

Magnus bellowed as Alec nocked the third time, and white roots surged up out of the ground going green as they searched and tangled about everything near the edge of the woods.

Fish in a barrel.

-

Magnus let out a breath of fire on the three closest targets, then retreated back behind Jace and Izzy, who’d emerged just after the roots came up, and were slamming though their opponents from the flank.

Izzy ripped a man right out of the roots with her whip, face first into a tree.

Jace was fighting two people at once in typical Jace fashion, took a risky killing blow on the first, and nearly got his arm lopped off, until the opponent realized his sword was stuck in wood instead of Jace's arm. The pirate blinked, in shock, until Izzy kicked the attacker free, from where she was touching her staff to Jace's back.

“Neat trick, huh?” Izzy winked, as Jace's arm regrew it’s skin of bark almost instantly, and Jace smirked and ran the man through.

“You'll have to teach me that one, starshine,” Magnus said, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry Magnus, Druids will kill me if I reveal their ancient secrets, you know how it is…” she crushed the next man's skull in.

Magnus glanced at the event with mild distaste, “Still? What is this the Dark Ages?”

“You've just got to earn their trust, before they give you the secrets of their ancestors,” she shrugged.

“Ugh, nevermind,” Magnus said, “The last thing I need is to get into an intellectual property debate with that glassy-eyed family line who claim they have fey blood,” he lobbed an icicle pinning another man to a tree.

Izzy laughed raucously.

-

Nafah eyed Bruno with contempt.

“So. You’ve found me. What’s your next move?” Nafah inquired.

Bruno hesitated. “I figured you’d be smaller. Most things that smell like you are smaller.”

“Yeah,” Nafah agreed, holding his gaze.

Raphael stumbled onto the scene, along with the biggest pirate, Quinn, and Bruno lit up, barking raucously, “Oh thank god, humans. Look I found it, kill it, kill it with shiny things.”

“What the fuck,” Raphael hesitated. “Is that a panther?”

Raphael smelled the fire, snapping his head back, away from the panther.

“Shit! Quinn, with me!”

He ducked away, circling back through the trees for the pack he’d left by Simon. There was too much gold in there to leave to whoever was taking his men down.

“Fuck,” said Bruno, alone again.

“Yeah,” said Nafah.

“I’m just gonna go,” said Bruno, cowering a bit.

“Excellent plan,” Nafah nodded.

-

“Clary?”

Clary tried not to laugh at Simon’s expression upon seeing her.

“Hi, Simon,” she ducked in, taking a dagger to the ropes at his back.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you, how are you, how’s your mom, how’s Uncle Luke, did you guys ever get that puppy?”

“Why would I ever need a puppy when I’ve got you, Simon,” Clary grinned, wanly, as she got the last of the ropes free.

“Freeze, munchkin,” a soft, searing voice commanded her.

Raphael pulled Simon into a quick hold, swords across his body.

“Don’t hurt him!” Clary panicked.

“Just toss me that bag, and you can have him, Red,” Raphael gestured at the sack with his sword.

“You can’t be serious, Raphael,” Quinn spat. “He can read and write, he’s worth 50 gold pieces easy, and I can drop this tart with my eyes closed.”

“That tart has friends, who are currently murdering all our friends-- toss me the bag, get the boy, keep the sheep, and we leave in peace, no harm done.”

“Fuck that,” Quinn took a pot shot at Clary, who was reaching for the bag, slicing across her thigh.

She cried out in pain.

“Clary!” shouted Simon.

At that exact moment, an arrow went through Quinn’s shoulder staggering him.

Clary recoiled hard from the blow, stumbling, but on pure instinct her hand went for her throwing dagger, and in an instant it was in Quinn’s throat.

Raphael went, “Shit,” in a faintly impressed way, then said, eyeing the angry-looking dark-haired giant who’d just dropped from a tree a ways down and was already at full draw, “Well... I’m still on for that same deal, takers?”

“I like the deal,” said Simon, “I’m happy with the deal.”

“Shut up,” Raphael said.

“Shutting up,” said Simon.

“Or you could just drop your sword,” an angry hiss came from Raphael’s left.

Raphael turned abruptly, then hissed and shouted as his sword went an angry shade of molten red. He tossed it away on sheer reflex, pulling his burnt hand back against his chest.

Magnus was lit like hellfire, his arms full of smouldering power.

Raphael ran.

Magnus shot a burst of fire after Raphael, narrowly missing, and Alec darted past Clary to secure the shot on the pirate.

“No, wait!”

Alec pulled his bow, and turned around to see it was Simon who had stopped him.

“Wh-” Alec did not understand. He pointed out, “In the course of the last half-hour that guy threatened to murder you twice, he just had a sword to your fucking neck...”

“Yeah, but… I mean it was kind of our thing?” Simon did this weird little shrug dance.

Alec’s eyes tightened and his head went to one side. He was dumping this kid at the next town, and no one would stop him.

Magnus had fallen to his knees in front of Clary, cursing.

“I’m fine, it’s barely a scratch, really,” Clary said, and her face said it was only a bit of a lie.

“Thank you,” Magnus said, glancing up at Alec. “For keeping an eye on her..”

Alec shrugged a shoulder, “She’s hard to miss.”

Clary smirked and winked at Magnus.

“So uh… who’re you guys?” Simon lifted a hand in greeting. “How do you know Clary?”

“I’m starting to think everyone knows Clary Fairchild,” Magnus observed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and Raphael will probably come back as an antihero or something, cause sea trolls are everyone's problem, and Simon will just cry big fat salty tears about it.


	5. Best Friends Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simon's talents are... well, they're not immediately obvious. I just feel like bards aren't a thing, you know? Like is a bard class ever OP in anything? Anyway, here's the next chapter, we're finally getting to the good bits, sorry about long waitssss. Not enough free time, you know the deal.

Nafah had been following Bruno’s trail for half an hour. He was wandering rather aimlessly, it wouldn’t be long before she caught up.

Ah.

He was huddled under a pine tree licking his hindquarters in a rather undignified manner.

“Are you quite done?” Nafah said, after a good long moment.

The dog jumped a foot, poking itself on the tree’s low hanging needles. “You again? You finish all those sheep already, and want something tougher to snack on now?”

He was all bark and no bite.

Nafah’s tail curled, dancing with amusement, while the rest of her stayed very, very still. “No. My partner wants them returned safely to their owner. Trouble is, no one knows where that owner is but you.”

Bruno snuffled. “It’s three hundred leagues from here, don’t waste your time.”

“You mean your time.”

The dog gave an incredibly stupid look. “Why would I do that?”

Nafah made a convincing argument, flexing her long dark legs.

The dog cringed. “I mean you don’t murder me, sure, but who’s to say I don’t lie and go off on my own merry way the second I can’t smell you anymore?”

“Because we both know you’re soft and the mostly likely result of you living in the woods is you getting eaten by a slow, lumbering bear. I’m sure the humans you bring those sheep back to will be astoundingly grateful, and you could definitely use some new humans, couldn’t you…”

-

As they camped for the night, Alec approached Clary with his pack and a bowl of water heated over the fire, pulling out the medicinal supplies that were presumably a part of his training as a ranger.

“We need to treat that,” he pointed to the ugly looking gouge. “Let’s see the damage.”

Clary glanced at Magnus, who was helping Simon start a stew at the fire about twenty feet away, while Jace and Izzy were off near the woods bickering their way through how to skin and butcher a sheep.

“Yeah..” said Clary in a significant manner that made Alec immediately wary.

His eyebrows full of all sorts of disapproval, he threw a blanket at her none too gently. “Take off your pants, you can use that to cover up.” Clary’s eyebrows popped, smirking a bit.

“Sure thing.”

She took her sweet time, as Alec turned away. When he turned back the blanket was wrapped high around her waist, but she’d thrown the damaged leg wide, and pushed forward, leaning on her wrists which she tucked tight between her legs. She was making this face. Her lips were doing strange things, pushing together like she was pretending to be a duck or something.

Alec’s brows got increasingly disapproving.

The whole time she was super weird about it, like every time he touched her she sucked in a breath, or flipped her hair, or said something strange like, "I mean, I usually don't let a guy see this much of me without making me dinner first." Then she winked. It was awkward.

Alec’s upper lip pulled, uncontrollably, and he said, diplomatically, shaking his head and not looking at her face, "Well I don't really cook so.. fuck you too?"

She burst into a snort, "Jesus," she started laughing incredibly hard, making it very difficult for Alec to give her stitches.

"Fucking hold still, Fray,” he muttered, expertly pulling the thread through anyway, “Christ, you're like a kid."

After he was done, she pattered back to Magnus at the fire, giving him a very pleased, meaningful look.

"Oh please," he muttered back at her, so quiet Alec almost, almost couldn't hear, "Like you're so irresistible."

Clary made an offended noise and hit him. Magnus overreacted comically, nearly falling over.

Alec ducked his head away from them, unable to hide a smile.

-

“So how did you meet Simon, then?” Magnus inquired, as they ate.

Clary tried to remember for a moment, but quickly gave up, “Um, childhood friends?”

Simon shrugged, also unsure.

“He lived in your hometown?”

“Yeah, a few years back,” Simon nodded. “Seems like decades.”

“Simon sort of left town after I turned him down,” Clary said, inappropriately honest, after too many tugs at Magnus’ special occasion wineskin. That was definitely not filled with wine. “Shit, sorry!”

“Ohhhh that Simon,” Magnus remembered the story, suddenly, smirking.

“Oh my god,” Simon is horrified, and his mouth is full of mutton, so he is a little unintelligible as he says, “Seriously? Did you have to tell them that, that is like water under so many bridges, I’m trying to make a good first impression, and now I’m the fucking nice guy.”

“You are a nice guy!” Clary agreed, with all the earnesty of the just nicely smashed.

“Not like a nice nice guy,” Simon protests, “Like a guy who befriends girls just to try to court them and then never tells them that and then cries in the pail privy...”

Jace snorts. Clary hits him.

“But Simon, you did tell me,” Clary pointed out, helpfully. “Right?”

“Oh.” Simon looked perplexed by that, like it was new information. “Well yeah, I guess I did,” Simon grinned, surprised.

“And look, we’re still friends, right?”

“Well, yeah. I mean yeah, of course we’re still friends, Fray, forever and always.”

“Well then you can’t be a nice guy, now can you?” she knocked his shoulder with a fist. Slightly inaccurately.

Simon shrugged a little, and said, “I mean, maybe…”

“Definitely,” Clary insisted.

They finished dinner, while the new addition chattered away inanely to everyone, quickly learning who tolerated inane chatter (everyone but Alec) and who didn’t (Alec). Even Jace at least responded to Simon (to make fun of him)-- Alec just sort of looked at him like he’d found something faintly unpleasant after tipping over a big rock.

“So.. can he fight?” Alec asked Clary, gesturing to Simon, because he gets the feeling he won’t get an honest answer out of Simon in front of Isabelle, who he’s tossed more than a few mooning looks at.

“Uh…” Clary hesitated.

Simon, to his credit, did not try to pretend he actually knew how to use the short sword he’d collected from their fallen opponents after the battle. “I mean, I’m good at raising morale.. like if I played while you guys fight, you know? Like, you’d probably fight better, if I was playing in the background, I’m just saying..”

Alec opened his mouth then closed it again.

“Or I could like... “ Simon tried, confidence shaken, “Be a distraction? Or I could play like a scary song, and spook the enemy!”

Magnus, who was a very good person most days, had his fist tight to his face, trying so hard to not laugh at Simon’s earnest soul. A pitiful little whine kept it at bay.

Alec looked to Jace for help. Jace put his hands up, he was not touching this.

“I, uh, I know a lot about history?” Simon said.

“So you’re a nerd,” Jace surmised.

Simon, to his credit, took the insult in what appeared to be oft-practiced stride. “I’m… a well-read… scholar… of... myth and legend…” Simon seemed increasingly aware as he said each thing that it was sounding more and more disbelievable.

“I mean he does know a lot about the Mortal War, that might be helpful, right?” Clary was a very supportive best friend.

“I studied at the Bards College in Solitude! Until they… kicked me out..”

“How’d you get kicked out of bard college?” Clary asked, a low aside, judging him slightly.

“I may have missed a few Chicanery classes,” Simon asided back, “It was totally overblown-”

Alec interrupted, “We’ll escort you to the next town, since it’s dangerous on the road, but you should maybe direct your musical talents eastward toward Idris in the future, since Ivrey’s legion is spread so thin from the war effort. At least avoid the actual western border of the country, maybe?”

“Hey, now, I wasn’t anywhere near the warfront, those guys nabbed me out in the badlands.”

“What were they doing in the badlands?” Magnus interjected, confused.

“What were you doing in the badlands?” Isabelle interjected, eyeing Simon skeptically.

“Who needs cheering up more than people in the badlands? I mean it’s in the name, they’re pretty bad…” Simon pointed out, knowledgably.

The far southern land out of Ivrey past its endless rolling picturesque hills, forests, and peaking mountains was a grey waste: infertile, cracked land, hot in the day, freezing at night. It had no sovereign government to speak of. Nobody had really bothered to name it, and maps called it, in sprawled text, BADLANDS, so that was all anyone really bothered to think of it. There were a few towns here and there, all built on oases, but generally not much of civilization to be found.

Simon's time in the Badlands had not been as pleasant as expected, he would readily admit. He had spent more time than was really optimal vividly hallucinating, and had been bitten by snakes more than a dozen times, but seemed to be luckily immune to any venom that might have got in his system. He at least once, early in his journey, was almost certain he would die of dehydration, when he had passed out and rolled down a craggy hill into a mound of thick sand, but then woke some questionable amount of time later feeling no worse for wear. Though the sand had gotten deep in all sorts of unmentionable places...

He'd had the weirdest dream while he was out, too, there was this beautiful goddess with dark skin and pouty lips and white wings like a bird. She'd said her name was Cleophas, and yeah, okay it may have been sort of a sexy dream, cause she was only wearing this skimpy white cloth, and she'd kissed his forehead and said some weird stuff in a language Simon didn't recognize, and okay, he was sort of hard when he woke up, so sue him.

He liked to think she was maybe his guardian angel: every once and a while his forehead sort of tingled, ever since, and he felt this sort of presence? Or entity? It was difficult to describe, but it always happened when he was feeling scared or threatened.

I mean the getting abducted by bandit-pirates part had not been super lucky, Simon would readily admit, but hey, he was free now. And he'd met up with Clary, so who was to say there wasn't someone watching out for him?

And the pirate-bandits could have easily killed him, really. They were certainly pissy enough.

“I dunno,” Simon mused, “I guess there was some mythical treasure they were hunting in some ruins... There wasn’t much to do while I was with them but listen to them bitch about the whole thing. They were all pirates before and got a treasure map from some shady harpy lady in Breakbalm? But they came up bust, in the ruins, wasted a lot of money on supplies. So they decided to kinda just bandit their way back north, and, well, I got bandited, and so here I am.”

Magnus exchanged a look with Clary.

“Nah,” said Clary, unsure.

“Sounds like her,” muttered Magnus.

“Oh, they said her name was Camille,” Simon supplied.

“Jesus,” Magnus said at the same time that Clary made an extremely disgusted noise.

“What’s up?” Izzy glanced between them.

“Old friend, possibly,” Magnus squinted, unhappily.

“Enemy,” Clary corrected.

“Frenemy,” Magnus sniffed.

“Hatefuck,” Clary gave him a judgmental look.

Magnus did not argue this point, chagrinned.

Alec at this point felt many conflicting emotions, and his head was filled with all sorts of uncomfortable images, and the whole thing was a really inappropriately intense feeling and he did. not. like it.

“In any event, we’ll escort you to the next town, Simon. I suggest we all get some rest,” Alec immediately made himself scarce.

-

The next few days were fairly uneventful, the road clear and persisting under their feet.

Alec's Listen rune was increasingly a burden.

This new kid talked nonstop, every second of the day it was: “So you have a panther? What's the panther's name? How did you get the panther? How do you keep its fur so shiny? How do you keep your hair so shiny?”

Alec had no idea how Izzy hadn't garroted Simon with her whip as of yet. Supposedly he wanted to use her as inspiration for his newest tale, something about a strong, clever female defender of the downtrodden, but Alec was pretty sure that's what he said to all the girls he was ‘just friends’ with.

Sometimes Alec’s rune even caused him to hear what Jace probably meant to be flirting, something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

"You are so hungover right now,” Jace was saying, “It's crazy that you're still that cute even when you have bags under your eyes," Jace said, because adding a tiny insult to your compliment kept girls from thinking they were too good for you.

Gross.

"I imbibed a perfectly moderate amount of alcohol last night, I'll have you know," Clary retorted, "I mean, you would know if you ever joined us."

"Is that an invitation?"

"No one ever said you weren't allowed."

How the fuck was this strategy working, Alec wondered.

They were quiet for a moment, then Clary said, probably in reaction to Jace's expression, "...but you don't want to leave your best bro out here alone. Aww, that's adorable."

"Shut up."

"You could both come, you know."

"Alec is not a party person."

Clary laughed at this. "Alec can hear that."

"Alec is currently agreeing with me, completely.”

-

Later on, as it got dark, Alec dropped back next to Jace as they were walking, and said, "Look, I'm sorry for cockblocking you, go skeez on the redhead. You don't need to babysit me."

"Nuh-uh, what? No. Not a chance. No way I'm going in without a wingman. That's like best known classic blunders. Plus I need someone pretty to distract Magnus," Jace winked.

Oh.

_Oh._

Alec rolled his eyes, ignoring the blush that was insidiously climbing his neck, "Izzy's pretty."

Alec was not panicking.

Jace shoulder bumped him, in a gesture that is as close to a hug as Alec will tolerate, "Nah, they're like deep in hag territory, she did his makeup this morning."

Alec couldn't help a laugh, "Point taken. I'm still not going in there."

Jace was silent for too long of a moment, and Alec experienced an ever increasing urge to crawl into a hole like a small animal.

"Look," Jace lowered his voice significantly, "..Is it cause of Maryse? Cause listen, she's not fucking here, and fuck her, anyway-"

"Stop. Stop it." Alec lifted his eyes, lips tight and jaw set. "I-" he let out a frustrated noise, "I was a kid okay, you don't know anything about it.”

Jace didn’t roll his eyes but it was a close thing, “Alec, come on, it’s okay, I know what she did really fucked you in the head, but you don’t need to-”

“I was just- I was fifteen, I didn't know any better, it doesn't.. mean anything. Just fucking back off," Alec spat, moving away from him.

"Smooth as silk, Herondale," Jace rubbed at his eyes and watched Alec storm off, miserable.

-

When Isabelle, Simon, and Clary all clamored into Magnus’ tent that night, Jace gave Alec a long look, assessing. Alec met his eyes for a brief moment, then ignored him completely, trying to pretend he didn’t feel things like loneliness, or emotions generally.

Jace shook his head and followed them.

At least listening to Magnus take potshots at Jace all night was fairly entertaining. Alec waxed his bow and took comfort in the relative peace of finally getting a little time alone. It was strange how he craved it, even while he felt isolated in a crowd. He'd nearly managed to drown out the constant murmur of conversation from the tent while reading the book he'd stolen from the Keep library before they left, when a sudden ruckus caught his attention.

“Nope. No. Absolutely not, you are out, get out,” Magnus was surprisingly upset about something.

“Magnus!” Clary protested. “Hey, come on, he's just drunk.”

“I explicitly told him not to touch it. He's out, goodbye.”

To Alec’s surprise the person that came stumbling out of the tent a few moments later was Simon, and not Jace. He was red-cheeked, and pretty out of it. And now he was Alec's problem.

“Can I.. can I sit here?” Simon was ludicrously pathetic.

Alec sighed, “What'd you do?” He didn't look up as Simon stumbled onto the log he was sitting on.

“Tried to play the… charango. I'd only seen drawings.”

Hmm. Magnus was usually so laidback, generous. Alec vaguely suspected he'd share a kidney if asked nicely. The instrument must be very sentimental.

“I wouldn’t worry about it. Magnus is…” Alec’s mind wandered. “He doesn’t seem like the type to hold a grudge..”

“I dunno, he was pretty angry like… scary, fireball, turn me into a toad mad…”

Alec smirked. “I’m sure if he turned you into a toad he’d at least keep you fat and happy on a steady diet of worms and flies.”

“I’m just so sad I made him mad... Magnus is like the coolest guy ever, he’s so…”

A traitorous bit of Alec’s brain finished that sentence fifteen different ways in half of a second, none of which he wanted to hear out of Simon’s mouth right now.

“Magical, you know?”

Simon gave him this intense, imploring look, like he really wanted to know if Alec knew.

Alec’s brow knit. He shook his head in a way he was very worried was unconvincing, “No…”

“Oh nevermind, look who I’m talking to, you’re not really Mr. Whimsy, over here…”

Alec shrugged awkwardly, and hid his book that was definitely not a long, wandering tale about fey folk and treepeople.

“What?! That's one of my favorites!” Simon declared, pointing at the book.

Alec's concerned look deepened.

“I'm gonna go to bed now,” said Alec, evenly, face stuck on the same expression. He threw a waterskin at Simon. It hit him in the face. “You should probably stay hydrated,” he advised.

Simon got this feeling inside him, and maybe it was all the liquor talking, but he had this incredibly intense urge to become best friends with Alec Lightwood.

Also Simon... missed his dad. He sniffed back a little sniffle and drank his water sadly.

-

The weather took a turn for the worse.

It was hot, and sticky, and Alec couldn't stop fucking masturbating, and Jace kept giving him pitying looks when he went off to hang out in Magnus' tent.

Alec mostly kept to himself just to keep from yelling at anyone.

He couldn't sleep that night, and fucked off down to the river just to get some relief from the heat.

Tugging off the threadbare shirt he slept in, he dunked it and rung it out over himself. The relief was enormous, and he stood for a moment, just letting the water roll down him.

There was a light among the trees, as he opened his eyes. He tensed.

The light was flitting back and forth, and Alec relaxed, thinking it was just fireflies. The light grew brighter.

Magnus emerged from the trees, loosely circled by three or four dancing blue-golden lights, the colors swirling as the… creatures?... bounced this way and that. His hair was sleep mussed, the golden tips of it falling in his eyes, and he stumbled a bit, uncharacteristically clumsy, though Alec wasn’t sure if he was tipsy or just sleepy.

“Oh.”

Magnus eyes alighted on and immediately dropped down Alec's body hard, mouth open and wandering.

“Magnus,” said Alec, panicking a bit, then acting like he wasn't panicking at all, scratching at his neck in a truly tragic attempt to convey nonchalance.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone was out here so late,” Magnus averted his eyes, adding awkwardly, “or so… yeah...” he steered off the track of hitting on Alec, seeming to catch himself in the middle.

“I was just,” Alec pulled the sopping shirt back on, and it stuck to him in a way that probably left little to the imagination, from the way Magnus tried to look at him again then immediately went back to staring at a very interesting nearby tree. “Overheated.”

“I.. know the feeling,” Magnus cleared his throat and continued not looking at him.

Alec wanted to dunk Magnus in the river and pull all his clothes off, piece by piece. Alec was getting hard, and he shifted, hoping it was difficult to notice in the faint light.

He realized that nobody had said anything for too long, and he wandered toward the shore, not really sure how to proceed.

He stared at the lights circling, for a moment, uncertain, searching for any way to interrupt the atrocious silence that had settled. “What is..?” Alec gestured, awkwardly.

Magnus blinked glassy eyes, looking at Alec again, shifting restlessly, trying to ignore the water running down Alec's temples and jaw.

“Oh it's..” Magnus shook his head, scattered, “Just a basic light spell. Lightly modified. Most of the time it's a single orbiting ball of white light, which is usually more practical. I tend to tweak spells to do useless but beautiful things, it's a bad habit of mine.”

He was babbling… and nervous. Alec liked it so much, in spite of himself.

The lights were beautiful. Impossibly so, the slow, floating movement, and the prismatic way the light shifted was mesmerizing.

Alec smiled, trying to touch one of the lights. It danced away from him. He sniffed out a little laugh. “The color is nice.”

Magnus smiled back, stilling a bit. “The first time I changed this spell it was a gift for my mother. Her thirtieth birthday. Her favorite scarf was dyed the same colors.”

There was a barely there sadness in his eyes when he spoke about his mother, Alec noticed, absently, watching the light bounce across Magnus’ flawless skin. “How old were you?”

“Seven,” Magnus shrugged, “I was precocious. My mother loved it so much I think I've honestly forgotten the way to cast the standard spell.”

Alec smiled again and eventually realized he hadn’t said anything for too long, and Magnus’ whole body was leaning toward him. The mage was ethereal in the glow of the tumbling light.

The burst of arousal that hit Alec spurred an even bigger burst of anxiety and he stumbled back a few steps, saying, “I should really try and catch a little more sleep…”

“Of course,” said Magnus, clearing his throat, looking away as if caught. “..Sweet dreams.”

As Alec laid awake in his tent he tried to pretend he couldn't hear it, wasn't listening closely for it when Magnus splashed into the river. Alec pretended he wasn't trying to hear the sharp, harsh intakes of Magnus’ breath, rising and rising, desperate, and finally a shaky whimper.

Alec folded up on himself and emptied his brain like it was a damn chamberpot.

It didn’t stop the dreams. They were sweet, just like Magnus had said. In his dreams, Alec tumbled Magnus into a pile of soft moss, in the glow of dawn. Magnus was beautiful under his hands, bare and blissful, laughing in golden light.


	6. The Wander Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No work of fantasy is complete without a creepy forest, where weird shit goes down. Weird. Ass. Shit. Also cuddles.

Being a ranger was all about focus. About being able to key in on the correct thing, hear the life-saving snap of a twig over idle chatter, spot the vital point of an enemy on a battlefield in tumult, track the barely there pattern in the compression of endless brush and dirt. Pulling that important detail out of a cacophony of superfluous information.

Alec couldn’t focus. Hadn’t had it in weeks. The way was easy, right in front of him, clearly marked, and all the while his attention kept... veering…

Alec was inappropriately aware that Magnus was wearing a choker. It was this tall, delicate, woven, golden thing that wrapped tight round his neck, just bumped between his Adam's apple and his bare collarbone, and Alec wasn’t even quite sure why it was driving him insane. He couldn't even look in Magnus’ general direction, eyes always tracing the shimmering lines across the sharp tendons of his neck.

Alec had noticed the jewelry immediately, as they departed in the morning. And he had not stopped noticing it all day long.

Worse, Magnus had made an outfit off the aesthetic, forgoing his usual robe, in favor of a loose cloth mahogany vest that bared his arms. His arms were ridiculous, all corded muscle, and he'd wrapped them up in asymmetric gold and leather bindings. He had this dot of gold on his lower lip and at the edges of his eyelids... it was like every day Magnus tried to make himself as dangerously remarkable as possible, shiny, colorful, glittery, honestly, he was a prime target for the first shot of a stealthy enemy’s ranged attack, Alec couldn’t help but worry for him-

Alec’s head shot up.

Motherfucker.

"Get off the path!" Alec hissed.   
  
The others looked up at him in panic, then chased him down into the low brush.   
  
"How many?" Jace asked, grimly.   
  
Alec never stopped moving, there was a sound of horses, of... wheels? "Too many. Way too many. They're not moving that fast, but we can't stay if we’re on foot," Alec replied.   
  
"This is not a good direction," Magnus warned.   
  
"No choice," Alec replied. "That's a siege force behind us."

Magnus frowned.

“How did they get here?” Izzy’s eyes went wide. “They’d have to have taken a pass in the Dripfells, and they’re all fortified to the teeth…”

“We can’t think about that now, the Keep needs early warning to send a mounted unit to take it while it's still on the move and vulnerable. ...If we could get to Ible Tower in two days, cutting through, a hawk will give them a solid week to mount a force and take it out.”   
  
"Alec is right. The other way will add weeks to the journey, there's no posts that way, it's all endless rocks and crevasses," agreed Jace, nodding. "And there’s no way they’re not headed for the Keep."   
  
Izzy voted similarly, "Nafah says the same about these woods, Magnus, but this is too important."   
  
Simon poked Magnus, "Don't tell me you're scared of the Wander Woods. It's just stories. You don't really seem the type to be superstitious."   
  
"Superstition has nothing to do with it," Magnus shook his head, "I've gone  _ into _ these woods before, out of stupid, naive curiosity and barely made it out with my sanity intact. Learned my lesson. This forest is the oldest thing on the continent, and thick with First Magick. The trees themselves will slow us down, and when I say that I mean  _ with intent _ . Things move in there. There's a reason for the stories."   
  
"Keep your voices down," Alec insisted, eyes behind them.

“I just... want it on record that I said this was a bad idea,” Magnus’ brow furrowed.

“Give me a good idea,” Alec met his eyes firmly.

“I don’t have one,” Magnus shook his head, looking away.

“Okay,” Alec said.   
  
They went in anyway.   
  
-   
  
A fog started to settle, and the smell of the thicket was sweet and heavy. The light here seemed almost green, and Magnus’ hackles were immediately raised.

The land was incredibly uneven, endless bumbling roots, trees practically climbing on top of one another.

“Stay close together,” Magnus warned. “Line up, don't lose the person in front of you.”

Nafah had completely lost her chill. She made a low threatening noise at nothing.   
  
"Nafah says there aren't any birds here,” Izzy said. “Never have been. And not for lack of trying, since birds are obtuse."   
  
"That's what she called them, obtuse?" Simon grinned.   
  
"Obtuse. Teachable as a rock, might be a better translation."   
  
There was an eerie whistle in the air.   
  
"If there are no birds in here, then what is that…" Alec made an  _ oh fuck no _ face.   
  
"Probably the wind," Magnus said, cutely, with the faintest hint of  _ I told you so _ .  Of course Magnus had ended up right in front of Alec.

They're in moderate to serious danger of becoming a tree's lunch and Alec is still thinking about the nape of Magnus' neck. And the cuff curling round the shell of his ear. And the way his fingers twitch nervously against his hip, thumb tapping fast, the muscles in his forearm bouncing in and out of tension-

"I don’t think the spirit of the woods is malicious, per se," Magnus postulated, cautiously. "But at best we're going to waste a lot of time. It seems like the woods just don’t like outsiders, when I came in before, I ended up on the eastern edge when I’d come in from the north. I never changed course. The trees seem to twist to guide you on the path they choose. Which seems to be out, but I can’t say for certain.”

“We should be closer to the northern edge than the southern, so hopefully you’re right,” Alec bit absently at one side of his lip and searched the tree line.

The noises here were unnatural, this constant creaking like there was a heavy wind on the trees, but there wasn’t even a slight breeze. It was still and dank.

"Jace? Jace! Where'd he go?" Clary's voice was panicked.   
  
"He was just behind that tree?" Izzy was confused.   
  
"Clary, don't!" Simon stepped after her and grabbed her arm as she disappeared into the fog, calling for Jace. Her voice disappeared immediately, sharply cut off, almost in the middle of her shout.. Simon appeared to fall suddenly, over a ridge of roots.

“What the hell?” Alec stared after them.

"And then there were three," Izzy sighed.   
  
“We need to find them fast. The trees never actively tried to hurt me, but trees aren’t the only thing in these woods, there are fae, hulder, who knows what else."   
  
Nafah was snarling.   
  
"Nafah! Nafah no!" Izzy barely took a step towards her pet, and suddenly the ground changed, bursting upwards, roots writhing, and all of them slid in different directions.   
  
-   
  
"Fuck," Alec said, rubbing at his ass as he crawled out of a pit of vines. "And then there was one."   
  
-   
  
It was hot. Alec undid the top ties of his tunic. His feet were killing him, from all the roots, roots everywhere, and he was so thirsty. Also he was  _ still _ thinking about Magnus, which did nothing for his mood.   
  
Thirsty.

He collected his thoughts, checking the direction of the sun above him repeatedly as he walked to make sure he hadn't veered off course. The trees were thick but not so thick he couldn't suss it out. It was getting late in the morning, though, and soon Alec would be relying on bark thickness, which was… possibly a questionable guide in here, he noticed as he glanced round. It was… sort of right? Really depended on the tree, which was worrisome.

He also worried whether some of the others knew enough to use the sun's direction as a guide. It should be easy, with the summer solstice having passed less than a week ago, but Clary hadn't left that little town her whole life and while Simon obviously had his fair share of wanderlust, it maybe hadn't been very directed, or entirely confined to existing roads..

Alec wondered if they covered astronomy at Bard College.

Jace had a compass, since everyone knew Warrior's Guild was shit with navigation, but who knew if it worked in here. Izzy would be fine, as would Nafah, and Magnus? Well he'd spent his entire life traveling so he must have something up his...

Oh god, now he was thinking about Magnus’ bare arms again, what the actual fuck...

He was conflicted. He knew his first duty was to make it to the Tower, as quickly as possible, but if that meant leaving his party, his family, behind in here? He could get word sent and then return better supplied to find them, of course, but it went against his nature. He had no idea where they were, though, so his only real option was to head north.

His mind drifted, almost unnoticeably back to Magnus. The way he smiled, or stood, the shape of his body, the warm color of his skin. And then Alec was suddenly imagining his dick.

He stopped in place, shaking his head as though he could just knock the thought out of it.

Alec could not have Magnus. It would never work, even if they got out of here alive, even if Magnus was willing. Once they got to the keep Magnus would go to the front… unless Alec requested him for his party on a regular basis, and Maryse would sniff that out instantly and refuse it.

It wasn't feasible, much less a good idea.

As Alec walked, the forest started to change around him, a sort of fragrance coming up and the faint sound of water trickling, and suddenly the flurry of thoughts started to fall one by one from Alec's head.

Not a wary or suspicious thought went through Alec's head when he stumbled on the wellspring.

It was so… beautiful.

The rest of the forest had been strange, uncanny, almost like it was pretending to be a forest, or something equally weird. But this…?

It was like a small, encapsulated paradise, an oasis, the water clear and flowing, the black trees picturesque, curling in a perfect circle. Gray-green vines curled up them, while tiny pink blooms fell off them in the throws of late summer.

And the tiny set of almost magical falls coming from seemingly nowhere? Well that was a bit strange. There were no rivers that ran through these woods. Hmm. Well, geography was weird sometimes. There was this light, golden green, thick and warming, wrapping around Alec, and the faintest sound of tinkling laughter coming from… somewhere? Well that was fine. Just the sight of the water, the smell of it, was making Alec feel less worried about… everything.

He suddenly wondered why he did so much thinking at all.

Alec took less than a second to make the decision to cup his hands together and let the water pour down his throat, his chin, it was sweet and pure and delicious, and made him feel… very good. Relaxed. So relaxed. Everything would be fine.   
  
He splashed his face, and lay back in the moss for a moment to rest. He vaguely considered touching himself… what a strange thought. He laughed at it, then got up and started back in the direction he'd been traveling before.   
  
-

Magnus had definitely seen this bit before.

The man was totally naked, except for some conveniently positioned moss and lichen over his most private areas, and he was sprawled in a deeply sexual manner against a nearby tree.

“Well hello there,” said the tree man, stretching in an inappropriately sexual yawn. In that there was any amount of pelvic thrusting involved.

“Oh,” said Magnus, only slightly surprised at the gender of the creature, “Hi…”

Magnus walked sort of past him and the man immediately scampered to keep his back facing the tree.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re in a hurry,” said the barken fellow, seductively.

“Yeah, lost in a magical wood, imminent death at every turn, you get the idea,” Magnus agreed.

“Oh, you’re lost? I could  _ definitely _ help you out there,” said the man, temptingly.

“Okay,” Magnus said, deeply put upon, “Why don’t you walk ten steps towards the north edge of the forest for me.”

Magnus crossed his arms and waited.

“Why don’t you come here, and I’ll point you in the right direction?” the creature suggested.

“Why would I need to do that? Huh, it’s almost like you’re stuck to that tree or something,” Magnus said, deeply bored.

“Well that’s just silly, look,” the man took about three steps toward him and stopped.

Magnus side stepped quickly, and the man did too. They orbited the tree, back and forth, always perfectly facing each other.

“Are ya  _ sure _ ?” Magnus gestured, illustratively. “I mean it’s almost like you don’t want me to see your back…”

“No it’s… very nice. Muscular, even.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Magnus walked away.

“Okay, there’s a hole in my back,” the man admitted, with some shame. “Also I have a tail,” he admitted further, with less shame, whipping it about suddenly with what one might call enormous pride, “But I just… I didn’t want you to judge me first on my flaws, I’m a whole person.”

“Yeah, and I bet you’ve got a real nice cave you can show me too, and maybe if we get married in a church you’ll finally become human! You’ve always wanted to be human! Save it for somebody who hasn’t read five libraries worth of First Magick lore, bud.”

“Maybe just a cuddle?” called the huldrekall.

Magnus flipped him off.

Honestly, Magnus really wanted a cuddle. Just not the kind that ends with certain death.

God, he thought suddenly, he really hoped no one in their party was stupid enough to fall for one of those...

-

Simon and Clary had found Jace and Nafah about a half hour ago. Or more like Jace and Nafah had found them since they'd mostly been trying to figure out which way was North and standing still. Since then, they had learned that Jace's compass was definitely not reliable, spinning like a top. Also, Clary was slightly concerned that she had developed a crush on an actual crazy person, because Jace’s plan was to follow the panther.

Simon inexplicably defended him, “I mean it's not the worst plan I've ever heard.”

Jace gestured at the obviously very smart man like he knew what he was talking about. "You just need to trust in her magical panther instincts, okay?" he advised Clary.   
  
Clary narrowed her eyes, "How do you even know she's leading us, you don't speak panther…"   
  
"Trust is a universal language," Jace replied with the same level of confidence that he said everything.   
  
Nafah made a noise like 'ugh shut up', glaring back at him.   
  
Then Nafah made a different noise and darted off to their left.   
  
"Shit," all three of them said, not quite in unison, frantically chasing after her.   
  
They weren't exactly designed for movement in the woods like Nafah was, and were slowly losing her.   
  
Thirty seconds later, they stumbled onto Nafah and Isabelle having a full-on cuddle, rolling around in the leaves together.   
  
"Ugh I missed you so much, my special little kitty, I could just hug you to bits," Isabelle cooed, before she realized she was embarrassing herself, not to mention poor Nafah, who abruptly shrugged Izzy off like a child too big for hugs anymore. "Rude," Izzy pushed her, playfully.

Simon spoke in an awed whisper, “That was the cutest thing I ever saw in my life.”

"Oh thank God," said Jace. "Someone who speaks panther."   
  
"Missed you too, bro," smiled Izzy, blowing a leaf out of her hair.


	7. Unbite the Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Magnus fails an intimidate check, and gets called a 'cumstain' by a very Chaotic Neutral faerie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Let's have a quick talk about consent. This might involve a little bit of spoilers unfortunately, but sometimes it can be the price of feeling safe. I'm going to put it down at the end, though, so anyone who wants to avoid spoilers can continue reading. If not, maybe click on the 'see more' button, and meet me down there for a chat.

Valentine pulls the glove over his wrist, glaring suspiciously at the crow on the lectern. The bird opened its beak and the noise that came out was almost a squawk, or maybe three of them, all tumbling over each other to get out. Black fluid dripped onto the lectern.

What…

He leaned in, rubbing his thumb along the bird’s black beak and his hand came away dark with ink.

“Interesting results,” his lower lip pulled high.

He didn’t regret this. He’d done a lot of things far more worthy of regret, than this. And all for love. Well, and perhaps a little for pride.

He rolled the parchment with precision and tucked it into the leather strap.

Jocelyn said nothing, in a rather pointed fashion, settling for an eye roll. Maybe less pointed than she would have liked, considering the spell that had sewn her jaw shut.

If the bird didn’t fall dead out of the sky within the hour, it’d leave a trail all the way from here to Lightwood Keep. If only she could somehow let Lucian know what to look for. That man could find a white hare in a snowstorm, even without his runes.

She needed Dorothea.

-

Magnus was having a very strange day.

His first trip into the Wander Woods hadn't been nearly as exciting. Mostly it had been stupid, and confusing, but all the weirdness had been much more subtle, enough so to make him question his sanity. His direction then had changed very slowly, almost unnoticeably. This time the place was tumbling them about like dice, and he wasn't sure how to account for the change. Something about this new party was particularly irritating to whatever spirit or spirits inhabited these trees.

That said, he really wished he’d at least kept Alec in sight.. Alec would be doing some weird woodsy shit right now like licking a caterpillar or hyper analyzing the leaf points on some ferns to figure out which way was north.

With his brows all knit up, that way they got when he was concentrating..

Magnus definitely did not want Alec nearby for any other reasons.

Like the way Alec had been staring at Magnus all day today. All day. Nonstop. At his neck, at his body. Magnus had caught him too many times to still think he was imagining it. Worse, there was absolutely nothing Magnus could do about it. Magnus’ flirting had clearly been unwanted, and Alec physically kept a distance of five feet between them at all times, even when they were alone, his unease obvious.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if Magnus had never seen Alec that night in the river. With water running down his abdomen and the runes carved all over him and the perked nipples and the hair dusting his pecs. Magnus hadn’t even thought he liked body hair, and suddenly it was like his thing, and he just wanted Alexander to scrape him all up...

Okay, maybe it was time to think about staying alive instead of dick.

Magnus couldn’t believe he’d even followed Alec in here, he’d sworn to himself that he’d never set foot in these woods again, after the last time. He’d lost his favorite pair of boots in here to a particularly ugly little ratgoblin wearing a crown of daisies. Queen of the Ratgoblins. He hoped the boots had fit her, because his feet were bloody by the time he got out.

Fucking Wander Woods.

-

 

Alec was in the best mood. He just felt like things would probably all work out. The magic forest, the race against time to get to Ible Tower, the war in general. It would all be fine. Probably. Weird, he wasn’t sure he’d ever once felt like that about the war…

Alec had picked up a trail. It was light but haphazard, easy to follow. Humanoid, one person, minimal gear. Definitely not Clary or Isabelle, both trained for stealth. Certainly not Jace, even his traveling gear was heavy. Maybe Simon? Or Magnus.

Magnus...

Alec picked up his pace.

-

Magnus summoned a magical compass for the fiftieth time since he'd walked into the woods. He stood facing what it said was west, for a full thirty seconds. He narrowed his eyes. It span. It was now pointing east.

Magnus face planted against a tree. Then he removed his face and said to it, "If you would just make up your damn mind, sir, I will be happy to get out of your… branches? Leaves? Whatever the equivalent of your hair is, I will get out of it. Help me help you." He touched his chest and then the tree, as he said this.

-

Alec heard Magnus before he saw him. Relief flooded through him. Alec followed the sound and when Magnus came into view, his lean, willowy figure, totally unharmed, his neck in a bored lean, his arms tucked just so, Alec was struck with this surge of affection, like he'd missed the very shape of Magnus, and finding him whole and healthy by total accident was like unearthing a priceless treasure.

The intensity of this feeling probably should have worried him more, but it really didn't. Worry him. At all.

Alec squinted. Magnus was talking to a tree? He approached carefully.

Magnus noticed absolutely nothing until Alec was six inches behind him. Not even then. Wow. Alec considered clearing his throat, but the inappropriate urge to scare Magnus won out easily.

When Magnus put his hand up against the tree, Alec gently mashed Magnus’ face into his hand, fingers carding in his hair.

"Mmf?" said Magnus.

Alec leaned his forearm across Magnus shoulder blades, and said with only mild judgment, "Now see, this.. is exactly why magical types shouldn't travel alone, no survival skills training."

He was unable to think of a good reason why he shouldn’t be touching Magnus like that.

"Alexander?" Magnus breathed his name out, turning his head.

Alec didn't correct him this time. He could be Alexander, why not. 

..He liked the way Magnus said it.

“Hi, Magnus,” Alec said, smiling a little, breathing out relief.

He felt Magnus settle, tension leaving his body, huffing a laugh, “Well, hello there..”

Alec was still standing too close, the body heat was radiating off Magnus distractingly, and all Alec could think about was, inexplicably, the gentle swell where Magnus’ deltoid folded subtly into his trapezius as it disappeared beneath his lack of sleeve. 

And how badly Alec wanted to trace the line with his fingers.

"..I wasn't even trying to sneak up on you.. thank god I was what found you," Alec murmured. It should've been an insult, but it came out too honest for that, too quiet, in the still.

Magnus rolled his shoulders back with a widening grin but Alec kept him where he was, firmly, pinned against the trunk, pushing in, his body warm and close. He didn't know why he did that, other than that he wanted to.

Magnus eyebrows shot into his hairline.

"Setting a man on fire with a twitch of my pinky is a survival skill," Magnus rejoined cattily, but he was grinning even wider now, and something in his tone was intrigued, curious.

Even a little bit dirty.

Magnus’ skin was even more distracting from here, Alec mused, close to the nape of his neck, where he could see the faintest imperfections, small moles, pockmarks, it was beautiful like burnished bronze. The muscles of his shoulders moved under Alec’s arm distractingly.

“Maybe,” Alec said, still too quiet, and definitely too deep in Magnus space. His breathing was audible, he knew, but he wasn’t embarrassed, couldn’t remember what embarrassment felt like.

Magnus glanced over his shoulder, unbearably coy. “Aren’t you delightfully handsy today…” and then Magnus rolled his body in a faint, tentative way, but it was impossible to misinterpret it as anything but sexual, the way he pressed back into Alec, their thighs just brushing... 

Magnus probably expected that the move would send Alec scampering and blushing.

But it didn't.

Alec let out a thick breath and got very distracted by Magnus' ear, suddenly right under his nose, pierced and so delicate. Before Alec even knew what was happening the tip of his nose had brushed along the shell of it, just bumping the smooth metal of the cuff in Magnus’ ear.

Magnus gasped.

Alec didn't pull away, blinking slowly, nose still touching, sliding along the impossibly tender skin.

"..Alexander?" Magnus voice was shaky, full of a question.

Alec's mouth followed, so easily, lips just brushing the skin, all the way up, the flesh so pliant he couldn't help it, the sensation of his lower lip against Magnus’ softest skin was mind blowing, his breath ricocheting softly into the pockets of Magnus’ ear. Alec's thigh pressed in.

The noise Magnus made was pure filth, and whatever self control Alec was currently capable of (which seemed like not a lot?) flew out the fucking window.

"..you feel... so fucking good," Alec said faintly, pulling his arm down from across Magnus back and grabbing Magnus' shoulder from behind, half-gloved fingers pushing into the meat of the muscle. Alec pulled Magnus away from the tree and into him, nosing at his neck, all soft skin and sinew.

"Are you-" Magnus was in disbelief, writhing, opening his neck up and moaning when Alec's mouth found a straining tendon, kissing, tentative at first, then opening his mouth and licking, when Magnus only pushed into it, "oh.. fuck… and here I thought you weren't interested?"

"I want you," it tumbled out of Alec helplessly, hot against the back of Magnus neck, “wanted you,” his fingers ran into every divot of muscle he could find on his way down Magnus’ arm, locked behind metal and leather, soft, rough and smooth alternating as his fingers went. “So much, this whole time, I-”

“Oh,” Magnus breathed out. “Fuck me.”

Alec wasn’t sure whether that was interjection or direction, but he started to touch Magnus everywhere he'd been obsessing over, frantically running his hands across his collarbones, palming the choker across his neck, the fine metalwork warm against Magnus hot skin, his Adam's apple rolling at Alec's touch. Magnus’ head fell back against Alec's shoulder, his lean body meeting Alec's with intent as Alec buried himself, couldn’t get enough.

"Alexander... oh shit-" Magnus whimpered as Alec's hand slid up under his vest, rolling along his abs.

Alec needed this, needed Magnus, the whole world disappearing except for Magnus' body beneath his searching fingers.

-

Magnus either had the best or the worst luck, he wasn't quite sure. This was so, so good, at the worst time.

Alec's frame curled round his perfectly, a body hard and lean from use, and Alec’s hands were wide and clever, the sensation of Alec’s callused fingers and worn gloves was just faintly rough against his skin. Alec smelled like herbs and leather, and the way he wanted Magnus...

Magnus had thought maybe Alec was just curious when it came to men, if anything, but the way Alec touched him was so intensely focused on his masculinity, like he'd never had it and been craving it so hard, and Magnus couldn't even help it, he just gave, putty under Alec's tragically deprived hands.

Alec was absently trying to pull his clothes off, mouthing at his earlobe, his jaw, Alec's hips were pressing in now, one knee nudging Magnus' legs apart.

Magnus could feel him. Alec was so very hard, pushing Magnus back against the tree again with a faint desperation.

Magnus rubbed uncontrollably back against Alec, gripping at his hip. Alec moaned, starting the faint beginnings of a rhythm.

Magnus had two options.

Option one, get entirely distracted and let Alec maybe try to dry fuck his thighs against an admittedly pretty uncomfortable tree? ...Possibly poor neophyte Alexander could learn to give a half-decent handjob on the fly? And then, let's face facts, Magnus would probably have to deal with some pretty intense fallout from Alec's immediate flight back into a very sturdy closet.

So sturdy it probably had its own drawbridge. Maybe a moat.

Or option two: stop himself and all his new friends and the very cute boy currently gently biting at his ear rather charmingly from getting potentially murdered in an angry, magical, living wood, while the castle that was their home and the last bulwark against unending, rampaging evil potentially burned to the ground.

Magnus dithered.

Then let out a horribly regretful noise as he made the right choice.

"I don't want you to think," Magnus gasped, barely able to catch his breath, "that I'm not completely on board with just.. everything that’s happening here," he twisted around to face Alec, "But we really need to find the others as fast as-"

"No, please-" Alec's eyelids were low, and then he was immediately kissing Magnus.

Desperately, so so sweet, and he touched the sides of Magnus' face so gently, his thumbs tracing at the gold edges on his eyelids.

Magnus couldn’t help but stare, Alec’s skin was sort of flawless and his features were so elegant, his long nose and the arch of his brow and the spread of his long lashes, his expression this adorably intense concentration as his lips begged gently at Magnus’ own.

Magnus gave in, helplessly, murmuring, "Oh my god, you're so pretty," sucking on Alec's lower lip, and pushing his hands into Alec's soft brown mess of curls.

This little lordling was definitely going to snap his heart into a thousand tiny pieces and Magnus almost didn't even mind...

Alec whimpered, pushing his hands up Magnus’ back, pulling him in and deepening the kiss till it was filthy, then suddenly he reached down and rubbed his half-gloved palm against the obvious shape of Magnus' cock, through the paper thin material of his loose pants.

Magnus opened his eyes wide, at this, on an embarrassing moan.

And that... was when Magnus finally got a good look at Alec's eyes...

They'd always had a little green in them.

But not that much.

Magnus’ eyes went wide.

"Fuck!" Magnus pushed Alec off him, forcefully.

"Wha-" Alec fell on his ass, eyes hurt for a brief moment, then he was laughing hard. "Asshole," he grinned, out of breath.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god, I'm so stupid..." Magnus put his head in his hands.

"What?” Alec frowned, confused. “You’re not, what are you talking about, just shut up and come here," Alec's head came up, his breathing thick, his gaze all affection and long suffering and this... terrible, awful green faerie glow, as he gripped at Magnus hips and tugged, faintly.

Magnus cock hardened intensely, but he balked and pulled back, twisting his arms and incanting, until white roots came up to pull Alec down. "Magnus!" Alec protested, writhing in the tangle, his thick erection obvious and distracting, pinned in his leather breeches.

Magnus pulled his eyes away quickly, not letting himself linger on that image, rubbing a hand across his face and searching the air around them, eyes narrowed.

"You... little... fucking…" Magnus blew a spell off his fingers, and suddenly a tiny green fae appeared.

"Well you're just no fun at all," the faerie spat.

Magnus gripped it by a wing.

It was translucent, the same shade of unnatural green as Alec's eyes, something insectile about it, but smooth, faintly reminiscent of a chrysalis. The faerie’s eyes were big, all black and flinty. They didn't quite reflect like eyes normally do.

"Undo it," Magnus gritted out.

"Oh come on! This is exactly why I don’t like humans coming in here... I’m actually helping him, and you’re still mad! He's happier like this and we both know it!" it fluttered angrily, unbalanced, words a mile a minute, in a strangely metallic voice the intimidation factor of which was ruined by its high, squeaky pitch. "You should've heard his stupid wandery brain, it was just on and on about how he can never touch a cock even though he thinks cocks are so great, like the best thing in the whole goddamn Five Lands… so stupid, I just put him back the way he should have been, putting his fuckstick into whoever wants it. I don’t even get how you mortals managed to invent all this bullshit drama about putting bodyparts in each other, he can’t even make a baby in you, what is the big fucking deal..."

"You are.. so foulmouthed," Magnus took a moment, squinting.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. I dunno what the fuck you guys are doing out there," it waved in a general outside the woods direction, "But from how twisted up this idiot is? It’s some sort of horrifying hellscape that runs on pure guilt. Like honestly I’m not even sure how any of you stand living out there..."

"Right," Magnus rolled his eyes. "Us stupid humans. Who needs a frontal lobe? Definitely hasn't helped me out once. Listen to me. You took away his right to choose, don’t you understand what that means? How invasive, how cruel that is?"

The faerie’s voice started to change, to distort and deepen, then speed and flutter, alternating horrifically as its eyes grew in its tiny head, going bulbous.

“You can’t even see it? How wrong it is? You mortals act like it’s some gift that you can tell a lie, and here this fucker is lying to himself! His brain is broken! In the list of his priorities, thinking about himself? Dead laAAAst. He doesn’t do anything he wants to do, you don’t think that’s fucked? You think all that garbage you’ve built up out there is worth that? Castles and ships and wars? Genociding whole species of plants and animals? Destroying the balance in the world? You mortals aren’t even haAAAppy! Endless multitudes working together at their own fucking misery, slavery?”

“Slavery? You enslaved him, you forced him to want only one thing, and he doesn’t get a choice what it is. How could you think I would want him to touch me against his own will? Don’t you understand?” Magnus grit his teeth, “Respect is not slavery! Compassion is not slavery! And fucking in the woods while his friends and family are in trouble is not freedom!”

“You can’t see it the way I can, I can see everything in his mind, you don’t even understand how fucking badly he wants to be free of them, free of family, free of country, of crown. It presses, weighing down his mind so hard he can barely have a thought outside it. I’ll ask him right now, if he wants it back…”

“No,” Alec said, immediately, struggling in the vines that still held him, but barely. “Don’t give it back, I dont- Please, Magnus..”

“He’s only saying that because you stole his ability to care!”

The vines were withering by the second, and Alec pulled free in a sudden burst of strength, scrambling up. Magnus groaned and cast a short sleep spell, just as Alec reached for the arm Magnus held the faerie by. Alec’s legs gave out, and he fell back into the mess of vines.

“I could take yours too,” the faerie announced, loudly.

Magnus’ recoiled, pale.

“You kissed him,” the faerie smiled.

Magnus spat, immediately, but he knew it was too late, faerie nectar was living magic, and it had already found someplace warm to hide.

“I could do it right now, and the two of you could live here in these woods for the rest of your lives, in perfect ignorant bliss. There’s plenty to eat and drink, you both know how to live off the land. And I’ll usher your other mortal companions on their way, whichever direction you like, they’ll make it out in no time flat, and they’ll never know what you did. They’ll undoubtedly search for you, but never make it fifty yards past the treeline again. All you have to do is admit that the world out there is hell and that this… this is fucking paradise. Unbite the aAAApple, so to speak.”

“You’re offering me a choice?” Magnus almost laughed at the irony.

The faerie shrugged, lackadaisical, “Well honestly you didn’t get much nectar in you, and it’s a little tricky..”

“You lied?”

“Of course not, I only said I could do it, it's a conditional, and I didn’t state the condition..”

Magnus shook his head, angrily, “The answer is no. Not one bit of me wants to do that.”

“What? Why?” the faerie seemed genuinely confused.

Magnus summoned every bit of patience in him to explain, “Because it’s wrong.”

The faerie’s glow had changed now, slowly sinking deeper and deeper into olive then gold, then orange, and now it was going red like blood. It’s voice was low and slow and booming.

The noise was inhuman and seemed to come from around them instead of the faerie itself.

“Right. Wrong. Friends. Family. Respect. Compassion? These are all words human being beings made. You made up a story because you’re so desperate for meaning, when the only things that actually have meaning are fighting, feeding, and fucking, and you can’t even do those right anymore, you’re so wound up in the story you feed yourselves! You fight for your country, feed your family, you fuck for love, and you judge anyone who does any of those for their own goddamn selves.”

“That’s enough.” Magnus refused to be intimidated by something an inch high no matter how creepy it was, and pulled the faerie close to look it right in its scintillating giant eyes. "I am done with the diplomatic approach, and I will speak in a language you understand: release him, or I'll tear your fucking wings off."

"I'll just grow them back, cumstain!" sassed the faerie, voice high and brittle, suddenly.

Magnus summoned a ball of fire. The faerie finally started to sweat, the pupils of its eyes suddenly tightening hard enough that the edges of sclera were finally visible.

"Let. Him. Go." Magnus eyes went golden.

"You're the worst," it gave in, suddenly careless, curling up and then exploding in white-gold sparkles. The faerie had teleported away, which was good, since a faerie nectar spell would only hold with close proximity.

Alec started to cough. Shit. Magnus stumbled over and turned Alec on his side so he could retch out some sparkling green water.

“Oh my god, Alec, I'm sorry," Magnus said immediately, horrified.

Alec pulled away from Magnus' hand.

Shit.

Alec wouldn't look at him.

A long intensely awkward moment passed. Alec was breathing hard, his head down.

"I'm so sorry," Magnus said again, "I should've known something was wrong, but I couldn't see your eyes..."

Alec seemed to be ignoring him, his head turning away.

"Something's coming," Alec said, after a moment, low and ragged.

He shot to his feet, nocking his bow. Every other competing thought vanished out of Magnus head, which was suddenly flipping through a mental spellbook.

"It's like insects, or…" Alec whipped his head around, trying to assess direction.

Fire. Frost.

Magnus heard it now, the noise was a shriek, skittering and sticky. "Spiders, fae are best at summoning spiders… I hate spiders..." Magnus sighed.

"That way," Alec nodded in a direction, then stepped till they were shoulder to shoulder. “But more from the right in a second…”

Something dark and far too large swang through the thick branches above them and Alec had already loosed his shot. It pierced it mid-swing and pinned it to a trunk, ichor spewing.

There were already three more from their right, but flames burst from Magnus hands, on instinct, and the noise was monstrous as they shriveled and charred.

Alec put his back to Magnus', aiming amidst another pack and knocking a few senseless with the splash damage from an enchanted arrow.

Some of them were small, skittering across the backs of the larger ones, sickeningly.

"Swap!" Alec twisted, guiding, and Magnus followed, taking out an encroaching small horde with an ice spray.

They kept the horde back, exterminating with grace, skill, and teamwork.

It seemed nearly finished, until a deep shuddering noise of a tree falling brought both of their gazes to one side.

The spider leaning, almost casually, against the broken trunk it had just pushed out of its way was massive. And sickening: venom dripped from its fangs in too loud splashes as its giant shiny eyes blinked alternatingly, a deep green glow to them.

"Mana's getting sparse," grit out Magnus.

"Go for the eyes?" Alec raised an eyebrow, peering over his shoulder.

"It has eight of them," replied Magnus, dubiously.

Alec pulled out a red glowing arrow, giving a wan grin.

Magnus flicked his wrist, still dubious, and the arrow started to pulse gently, as Magnus’ eyes flashed golden.

Alec's concern over the increasing speed of those pulses hastened his effort to pinpoint his target.

The spider was picking its way through the trees as fast as it could manage in woods this dense. It made for a hell of a difficult shot.

"Sooner would be better..."

"You can't rush concentration," Alec replied, evenly, the picture of calm, arm tensed.

"What about imminent death, can you rush that?"

His aim was perfect, dead center, and the arachnid’s head exploded in as foul a mess as you could expect, black and violet across the trees and brush, it’s legs splaying and dancing horribly, before curling in. It’s abdomen plowed into the ground heavily, shoving up brush in a wide crater around it, sliding towards them a ways before finally settling.

"Well. Nice work," Magnus was making a deeply disgusted face, swiping ichor away. "I need to sit down.."

Magnus didn't so much sit as nearly fell.

Alec caught Magnus as he swayed, "...You got bit?"

"I don't…" Magnus was barely there, sweating, vision blurring, dizzy, pulling at one pant leg and finding blood running down it. "Maybe…?"

Magnus wasn't sure if the way he swooned when Alec suddenly threw Magnus over his shoulder was from the venom or something else.

Probably the venom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say that there is pretty enthusiastic consent EXPRESSED during the encounter. I feel like this chapter pretty carefully avoids triggering any gut feelings related to sexual violence, because that is the stuff that personally sets me off. That said, my trauma isn't your trauma, and I just want you to be aware that there is a question of consent, in this chapter, largely related to Alec being under a spell that removes inhibitions. With inhibitions I would say that his reasons for not wanting the encounter are pretty much entirely shame related, which, when it comes to reasons, not the greatest, but no one needs to fucking explain their reasons to anybody, period. Magnus is very respectful of that, and once he has even an inkling what is actually happening, stops the sexual encounter in its tracks. So. Remember. I love you, wherever you're at, and want you to feel safe, this will probably be okay for you, but I am gonna slap a Dub-con and Inhibition Loss tag on here, just in case. <3


	8. Bare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec has a lot of feelings, and Magnus does not turn into a spider. Simon continues to make poor life choices.

Simon really needed to shit, like powerfully, he didn’t even know how that was possible with the threat of death all around him, wasn’t his sphincter supposed to be keeping it real tight when he was freaked?

The others were hesitant to allow a bathroom break, after what happened the last time they separated, but he’d made the excellent case that he absolutely could not shit in front of a girl. Or behind a girl, he insisted, after they offered to turn their backs.

Clary backed him up and said, “I’ve honestly needed to pee for like three hours, guys.”

So here Simon was, semi-alone in a truly terrifying forest, with his pants around his ankles doing a hard squat. The stench was going to attract deathwolves he just knew it. The relief was worth it though, holy god. 

“Hello?” he heard from a fair distance away. It was a female voice. He didn’t recognize it.

Simon frantically wiped with some nearby leaves, tugging his pants up as fast as he could without making a mess of them.

“Uh, hi?” called Simon.

He followed the sound.

Suddenly, there came into view, the most beautiful girl, her legs and arms lined with bark and her chest very lightly shrouded by soft moss that trailed unevenly down her belly to her.... erm…

Simon stopped looking there.

“Hi,” said Simon, eyebrows high, eyes on her forehead and nowhere else.

She smiled the widest smile possible without unhinging her jaw, while tossing her blonde curls that were wound with endless chains of baby’s breath. “Oh hello there, l’il bunny. I’m Heidi, what’s your name?”

 -

"Well I hope Alec and Magnus managed to stay together at least, it'll make it easier to find them," Izzy frowned, sure she had seen that tree Jace was sitting against before. “Them to find us, more likely, if Alec catches a trail.”

Jace smirked, "Honestly, if they are together, I'm hoping that doesn’t happen for a day or two. If there's a God in heaven, maybe we'll finally get ourselves an Alec capable of chill..."   
  
"Pff, even if, he'll just come back more uptight than ever," Izzy dismissed, easily. "This whole last leg he's been miserable, time alone with Magnus would just make it worse."

“You really don’t think? I mean, I know,” Jace gestured ambiguously, “But a man's gotta give sometime, he’s twenty three, already…”  
  
Clary narrowed her eyes, coming round a tree to find them.

"Are you guys talking about what I think you're talking about?" the redhead looked between them, a quiet sort of glee welling up in her face.  
  
Izzy caught Jace's eyes for a second and they had a frantic, panicked, silent debate. They hadn't realized she'd returned from her pee break- she’d barely just left, it was honestly mind blowing. Simon was taking his sweet time on that deuce, thankfully.   
  
"You know she won't go around telling everybody," insisted Jace.   
  
Izzy glared suspiciously, "Well, she better not!"   
  
"I'm just gonna assume you'll murder me painfully if I do, and keep my mouth shut?" Clary raised an eyebrow.

“There will be razors and snakes,” Izzy promised with intent, one finger raised.  
  
Jace leans forward, "Honestly, I'd kinda been half hoping you guys would catch on, cause this shit is unsustainable.”

Izzy protested, immediately, defending her brother. “Alec's...” she said insistently, then struggled hard to find the right word, “...fine,” she decided on, with not a lot of confidence.

“You know, he's really fucking not,” Jace shot back. “He hasn't been _fine_ in eight years.”

“Context, please,” Clary begged, waving a hand, so very excited for gossip.

“Okay, I guess there's no point, now the cat's out. So let me tell you a little story about Alec. I'm fifteen, Alec's fifteen, and one day I'm walking into the keep stables, with their mom, Maryse. Now. Context about Maryse? She's the best adoptive mom a half-elf brat could want except for just one thing. She’s so _fucking_ fixated with the family line. Ever since we lost Max, their baby brother, even more so. I dunno, it broke her a little bit, she's just not the same person anymore. So. When she walked into that stable with me, and we found Alec dipping his toe in with the cute ginger stableboy? Let's just say, it didn't go over great. I mean, they were barely even kissing, there was _zero_ tongue, and we're still not completely sure that Franzie _and his family_ were just exiled, and not executed."   
  
"Mom wouldn't do that," Isabelle protested again, her face dark. Obviously it was a longstanding argument. “Stop freaking Clary out for no reason.”   
  
"Bullshit," Jace lifted a finger, "you didn't see her face, you didn't hear how she spoke to Alec. She was like a different fucking person."   
  
Izzy was resigned, for a moment, having a moment of doubt, having seen herself the way Maryse could change in an instant.   
  
Jace continued, "Alec didn't even know this was not okay behavior in Maryse’ book at the time, and Maryse never even explained it to him afterwards, except to forbid Alec from kissing a boy ever again. And that's the story of the day Alec Lightwood was doomed to virginity for the rest of his life."   
  
"Your stories suck," Clary informed him, aghast, arms crossed as she plopped to a seat next to them. "God, that's so awful."   
  
"So much about Alec makes sense now, right?"   
  
"So much," Clary agreed, sympathetically, pinching the bridge of her nose, and regretting her every interaction with Alec Lightwood a little. "He doesn't like girls even a little?"   
  
"One time, a few years back, out in the Bathwoods, this incredibly beautiful, busty elven tavern girl sat in Alec's lap. And he just… looked confused? And then pushed her the fuck off him onto the floor."   
  
Izzy got a slow, giant grin, dissolving into laughter, "Oh my god, I remember that, she was so mad."   
  
"Anyway," continued Jace, "My money's on Magnus, that guy has game, and if anybody can get in those heavily girded breeches it's him."   
  
"Ew," Izzy wrinkled her nose. "You're such a skeeze. Can you not talk about our brother like that? …Also do you maybe wanna put money on it?" Izzy itched at her cheek thoughtfully.   
  
Jace shook his head, squinting, like that was so wrong.   
  
Then said, after three full seconds of consideration: "Okay, but let's keep it under thirty gold, we're not monsters."   
  
Clary exchanged a judgmental look with Nafah.   
  
-

Simon had definitely been with a girl before. Like two or… three times. Two and a half if you wanted to get technical. He’d certainly never met a girl this… forward.

He didn’t really mind her being a dryad or something? He wasn’t sure, he didn’t think it was polite to ask. But he liked girls that were different, especially if they were currently pushing a hand down his pants.

“Simon!” he heard Jace’s annoyed voice callling.

Simon frantically pushed Heidi away. “Sorry, sorry, that’s my friends, stop!”

“Simon, where are you?” Clary called.

Heidi’s mouth twisted, into a little moue.

-

When Magnus came round again they were in a short cave. Alec had pushed up one leg of Magnus' faintly billowy pants, to discover an ugly bite wound and a spreading circular purple-blue rash all along his calf.   
  
Alec was using both hands, pushing Magnus leg into the air, straight up, over Alec's left shoulder.   
  
"Whoa, how about some roses or a nice sonnet first?" Magnus slurred inappropriately.   
  
Alec gripped his thigh mechanically, stilling him, inexplicably tying a leather band round his leg.

_Kinky?_ Magnus thought, absently, but thankfully didn’t say out loud this time.

"It needs to stay elevated, to slow the spread," Alec didn't even blush, too focused on something he was pulling from his pack and spitting in…   
  
It was a leaf.   
  
He rubbed the leaf along the edges of the wound.   
  
"That is disgusting," Magnus squinted, slurring his words and feeling slightly nauseous.   
  
"I'll let you know later that you found me saving your life so repulsive," Alec murmured, eyes sharp on the wound. "There's a fang in the bite. Are you with me enough to sterilize these?"   
  
He was retrieving a set of tools from his pack, a beaten pair of forceps appeared in Magnus face.   
  
"Sterilize?" Magnus asked, dazed.   
  
"Fire. I need fire," Alec's voice was urgent.   
  
The fire was weak but Magnus managed it.   
  
"Good," Alec met his eyes for just a moment. "Can you cool it?"   
  
Magnus shook his head, eyes pinched shut. His mana was gone, he couldn't even think.   
  
"I have to pinch at the tip of the fang. This will hurt."   
  
Magnus nodded, holding Alec's eyes for a moment.   
  
He gripped at Alec, crying out as the forceps dug in. Tears formed, uncontrollably.   
  
"Sorry," Alec's brow pinched but his hands didn't shake. "Okay it's out. Can you keep your leg up?"   
  
Magnus nodded, not trusting his voice.   
  
Alec busied himself starting a fire by hand.   
  
Eventually Magnus couldn't maintain his position, his leg falling against Alec, who propped it on his shoulder again, as he fed the fire.   
  
Magnus felt hot and cold, local pain stinging, but the rest of him aching worse. He felt too light, like he was about to fly up into the ceiling. He slipped back into unconsciousness.   
  
When he woke again, Alec was making something, with the leaf from before, grinding with a mortar and pestle.   
  
There was water heating over the fire, and eventually Alec turned, untying the band on Magnus leg.   
  
"You need to sit up now."   
  
"M'sleepy," Magnus replied.   
  
Alec circled and pushed him to sitting, Magnus back against Alec's chest, legs cradling him.   
  
"You need to drink."   
  
There was a foul smell coming from the clay cup under his nose.   
  
"I'd love a drink, darling, but that does not smell like a good time-"   
  
“Magnus. _Drink_.”

Alec practically forced it down his throat and Magnus spluttered, but managed to ingest most of it successfully. He took a thick breath, once Alec pulled the cup back.  
  
"Now you can rest," he heard Alec's relieved voice close to his ear and turned, felt Alec's nose tuck into his hair a bit, his breath on Magnus' neck.   
  
The warmth behind Magnus suddenly disappeared, and, to his credit, Magnus managed to only make a small noise of complaint at the loss.   
  
Something soft got shoved under his head, and he was out again.

-

“You know you’re really… _not_ a very good kisser,” Heidi frowned at Simon.

“I’m… sorry?” Simon’s little heart snapped right in half.

“Ugh, this always happens,” Heidi rolled her eyes.

Then her arm turned into a giant ass stick and she hit Simon over the head with it.

Or at least. She tried to.

As the heavy branch came down upon his skull, a flash of light went everywhere, and instead of crushing Simon’s skull, Heidi suddenly flew backwards, up and through the air, plowing right into the tree behind her, which caught her deftly, in a cradle of branches.

She slipped down, a little dazed, then glaring, angry and shocked. She gritted her teeth and wrapped her arms up and around the tree behind her for a moment, growing about three feet taller as she did so, in a strange, pulsing rhythm.

Clary, Isabelle, and Jace all stared at the disturbing scene, just coming round a particularly bulky tree. Simon floundered.

“Holy fuck, Simon, you were gone five minutes!” Jace ran between the boy and the tree monster, pulling his sword and shield from his back.

Clary got Heidi in the eye with a well-aimed dagger, and the huldra went, “Bitch, what the fuck!”  like this was completely unreasonable behavior and pulled it out. “Like _what_ even.”

The tree lady patted her hands downwards for emphasis. One of her hands was not a hand and instead was a stump. She seemed to notice this, at that moment, and grew back the arm, in an extremely petulant manner. Then she went after Simon again, throwing her arm towards the dirt, and letting it stretch and burst into the dirt in a fit of crazed growth, vaulting her up and over Jace easily, straight at a doe-eyed Simon Lewis.

Simon pondered to himself why he seemed to attract so much trouble in life, in that very long moment.

Heidi hurtled through the air on a curved arc towards his face, skin mottling with more and more bark, flipping end over end and spinning as she went, to reveal a tail and a hollow black nothingness opening up right where Heidi’s spine should probably be. She was coming at him feet first, but her feet merged together into a sharpening, deadly spike of vine and wood.

And Simon thought to himself: _Maybe if I just, like, settle down somewhere and start a beet farm or something..._

-

Alec had been keeping watch for hours, tucked into the round nest of roots that made up the cave's entrance, mostly managing not to glance over at Magnus sleeping, because the image of Magnus sleeping made a strange, impossibly intense feeling pull in his chest.   
  
Alec was so gone. The mere thought of losing Magnus made his heart clench, made panic rise up in him. They'd barely known each other a month. He couldn't feel like this. The sheer adrenaline as he'd run through the woods, searching for a safe spot he'd seen a hundred yards back… he'd run faster, with more weight, than he ever had in his life, even in his Ascendance Trials. Thank god the cave had still been there. If it hadn't, he would have treated Magnus right out in the open, fae spiders be damned.   
  
Magnus would be fine. They'd made good time, and the poison hadn't spread. Alec would make sure he would be fine. That protective instinct… it was okay, it was healthy… Nothing more than what he'd do for anyone in his party, anyone outside it, even. He just… needed to separate that protectiveness from all the other things he was feeling. And they almost certainly weren't separate, especially not right now.   
  
Before, Alec had at least been able to convince himself that Magnus might not even want his inappropriate attentions. Now Alec knew for a fact that he could, at any time, without the slightest attempt at seduction, push Magnus into whatever available, even uncomfortable, surface, with little to no warning and even the looming threat of death hovering over them, and Magnus would still just… give beneath him. Writhing. Moaning. Pressing back against him, his thighs tight and muscular, the perfect curve of his ass...

Magnus had been so hard, when Alec had touched him, it was almost impossible to think of anything else, even hours later.

God, _fuck_ that faerie.

He could’ve never known what it was like. And now he’d never be able to forget it no matter how hard he tried.

The worst part was that Alec couldn't even claim that the faerie was lying, all the things it said about Alec, everything it knew. Fey folk were incapable of lying. Everyone knew that.

He was so ashamed. Not really of what it was that he wanted, Magnus had no reason to judge him for that but… everything else. The way he hid it so poorly, the way he couldn't now, the reasons for it that Magnus would almost certainly misunderstand. And the fact that at least a small part of Alec wished he was still under that spell. The way he had protested, when asked whether he wanted what the faerie took back, the intensity with which he had felt repulsed by the idea of taking back up every single piece of that baggage. When what that baggage was was his love for his family, his country, his people. Pretty much his entire identity.

But Alec had been free, in that brief moment. Just an animal in the woods. No yoke, no reins. He'd been.. so happy… for just a second...

Magnus made a noise, stirring.   
  
"I'm not gonna turn into a spider now, right?" Magnus muttered, mostly to himself.   
  
Alec swallowed hard, reality crashing in. He threw up walls instantly.   
  
"I mean..." Alec blinked. "Not unless that's a spell you know... is that a spell you know?"   
  
Magnus smiled at him, discovering Alec in the faintest firelight, that barely touched the tips of his boots, his form silhouetted in a circle of blue moonlight from the cave entrance. "Never had the knack for transmogrification."   
  
Alec looked up from under his lashes. "How do you feel?" his voice was professional, emotion didn't flavor his words.   
  
Magnus frowned, peeling up his pant leg to get a look at the damage. It was ugly, but not as bad as before.   
  
"Like I came very close to turning into a spider… I suppose I have you to thank for my continuing bipedalism…"   
  
"Well…" Alec said, glancing away. "I wasn't about to let you turn into a spider. I think you'd be pretty shit at it, honestly."   
  
Magnus laughed, "All the other spiders would shun me." Then coughed. "Oh god, I can still taste that wretched leaf water."   
  
"Yeah. That aftertaste will last about three days?"   
  
"You're kidding."   
  
Alec raised and dropped his eyebrows.   
  
"Well, that'll teach me to get injured around you," Magnus fell back onto the bedroll.   
  
“Almost die, you mean,” Alec's face, for the briefest moment, tightened into uneasiness, worry.   
  
Magnus didn’t respond to that, for a long moment. Then said: "I can seal that," he pointed to the cave entrance. "Till morning."   
  
"I thought you were out of juice?" Alec frowned harder.   
  
"Beauty sleep," Magnus smarmed.   
  
It achieved the desired effect, Alec's face relaxed slightly.   
  
"I don't suppose my tent will quite fit in here," Magnus said with disappointment.   
  
"Who needs it?"   
  
"But liquor," said Magnus, pouting.   
  
"No liquor,” Alec’s voice held no humor. “Your liver worked hard enough today. You should be dead, honestly."   
  
"Well. I blame you," Magnus smiled, but it melted to a sharp worry, quickly. "I'm… I'm shocked you're speaking to me, honestly," he looked away, lips going tight.   
  
"Why," Alec cut him off with terseness.   
  
Magnus didn't meet his eyes, "For... being an idiot? Not… realizing that it was… sort of out of nowhere, that you decided to suddenly jump me? Look, I... want to apologize…"   
  
"I don't want to talk about that," Alec said, too loud, too harsh, heart beating fast like many drums.   
  
Magnus looked a bit stricken, and quietly replied, "Sure. Consider it dropped."   
  
Magnus then made the poor decision of attempting to stand.   
  
"What are you doing?" Alec's voice was colored heavily by frustration.   
  
He ran to support his patient.   
  
"Sealing the entrance. Unless you'd like to spend tonight in a repeat of today's events?"   
  
Alec definitely wasn't thinking about the non-spider-related events, as he pulled Magnus' bare arm over his shoulder. He helped Magnus over, mostly on his good leg, to the cavern opening. Magnus was warm against him...   
  
A flurry of sense memory shot through Alec, all of it filthy. Frantic tugging at clothing and the drag of Alec’s hands on Magnus’ skin. He blinked against it, willing it away.   
  
Magnus' skin was pale, now, a sheen of sweat across it. Alec could feel him shake. He gripped Magnus tighter.   
  
Magnus held as still as possible as he incanted but couldn't restrain his hands from shaking, his eyes glowing as he brought a blue tinted barrier up from the floor.   
  
Alec followed the movement of Magnus' adam's apple as he swallowed, and decided he would get Magnus some water as soon as he was done.   
  
"There. That'll hold for the night, or at least wake me if anything nasty tries to dispel it. I have a feeling that faerie will hold a grudge, but considering the amount of power required to summon all that to send after us? We probably have a few days, before it's up to anything major, again."

Magnus found Alec’s eyes as he finished speaking, and the sudden awkwardness was palpable. A muscle in Magnus’ jaw twitched, and Alec was hyperaware of every inch of their skin that was touching.  
  
"Alright, come on," Alec turned him round, eyes darting everywhere but Magnus.   
  
"I'm really not an invalid, I can get back on my own," Magnus voice was buzzing with something, annoyance or nervousness, maybe both.   
  
"Okay," Alec let him go.   
  
Magnus limped back and laid down.   
  
"Have some water. That shit will dehydrate you like nothing else," Alec tossed him a water skin.   
  
"Thank you," Magnus was all dignity.   
  
"We should sleep while we can," Alec set up his bedroll on the opposite side of the fire.

There was silence for a long while.  
  
"I really am sorry, you know," Magnus said, so quietly, back to him, as Alec moved to lay down. He sounded ashamed, of all things. “I would never have done that if I knew…”   
  
There was another long silence, and Alec stared at Magnus, tried to calm himself down, and completely failed.   
  
"Stop- stop fucking apologizing," the words shot out of him, uncontrollably, he was shaking as it happened. "You barely touched me! That was all me, I was all over you, and quite frankly, I would like to forget it happened, so just- just stop..."   
  
Magnus didn't say anything.

Alec couldn't see his face. Fuck. He regretted it so much, every word he'd just said, how he'd said it, so angry.  
  
Alec rolled over, pinching his eyes closed and trying to breathe. Trying not to remember.

-

It feels like hours later, hours of shifting positions and ruminating and not fucking sleeping, and being, frankly, uncomfortably hard, when Alec heard Magnus say quietly, "Have you tried counting sheep?"  
  
"…yes," Alec replied, frustrated.   
  
He glanced over. The embers of the fire were low, but he could still make out Magnus' profile, in the dark.   
  
"Would it… would it help you to talk out whatever's on your mind?" Magnus asked carefully.   
  
"Absolutely not," Alec replied, but the harshness he'd meant to put out to get Magnus to back off came out more like sadness. Hearing his own voice.. it sounded like desperation.   
  
He felt pathetic.   
  
"I could… tell you a story?" Magnus offered, adorably.   
  
"Oh dear god," Alec put his hands to his face.   
  
"Hey now, I tell a mean story. My very best bard friend Simon says I missed my calling."   
  
Alec sniffed a little laugh. He wanted to pull Magnus into his arms and never let him go.   
  
"..fine." He was so fucking weak for this man.


	9. The Oldest Tale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Magnus gets a fleshed out backstory. And Alec.. well I wouldn't call it fleshed out, per se. Hey, do you remember that time that Matthew Daddario said [this thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP4W5ck4bJ4)? Yeah...

 

-

 

Clary recoiled in horror as she watched Heidi descend upon Simon like a knife, the lower half of her body coiled into a sharp, narrowing branch, headed straight for Simon’s head.

 

She couldn’t watch this, couldn’t see her best friend die in front of her, but her eyes only widened.

 

The moment it should have happened, inches from Simon’s skull, a bright light flashed out, spreading around Simon like a shield, and Heidi just... skipped like a stone. The branches extending from the lower half of her body collapsed in like nothing against the force of it, with the noise of trees shattering in a storm, and what was left of her bounced, hurtling up through the air faster than she’d even come down. She was a mass of blue fire above them, still flying even seconds later. Her figure was black and smouldering by the time she hit the ground, a tumbling mass of char that finally rolled to a stop about a hundred feet away.

 

“Simon. What the fuck did you do?” said Jace, gesturing with both hands.

 

“I didn’t do anything! I don’t know, I don’t know, I didn’t.. Oh my god!” Simon was crouched on the ground holding his head like it might start on fire, staring at the distant corpse of the girl he had very recently been quite interested in.

 

Granted, she had tried very hard to murder him just now, but he still felt bad.

 

“Simon, are you okay?” Clary found her voice.

 

“I don’t know!” Simon shouted, still in a defensive crouch.

 

“Holy shit,” said Jace, unnecessarily.

 

Isabelle was the only person not raising her voice, instead she looked thoughtful and approached Simon carefully, tilting her head.

 

She poked Simon with her staff gently.

 

Nothing happened except Simon went, “Oh, come on, what the fuck. Can you just let me have a moment, here?”

 

Isabelle frowned and did it again a little harder. Still nothing. “Jesus,” Simon complained. “Could you not?” Jace caught on, approaching as well, slapping at him reasonably gently with his hilted sword. “Holy fuck, I hate you,” Simon shook his head, bitterly, not looking at either of them.

 

Isabelle and Jace looked at each other, consideringly. Isabelle shrugged. Jace rolled his eyes.

 

Then Jace attempted to hit Simon on the head.

 

The next moment he was thrown across the forest, bowling Clary right over.

 

“Oh my god, why?” Clary shoved at Jace and his stupid giant armor.

 

“Simon, look!” Isabelle pointed at the mess of limbs that were Clary and Jace.

 

“What?” Simon blinked, gormless.

 

“Simon, don’t you get it?” Isabelle pressed. “Simon…” she set a hand on his shoulder, “You’re _useful_.”

 

“I’m useful?” Simon said eyebrows so high up his forehead, like he’d been waiting his whole life for someone to say that to him.

 

“Hell yeah!” Isabelle nodded, laughing all the while. “Simon think about it. Think about walking out on a battlefield, a line of combatants all coming down on you full bore.”

 

Simon looked concerned.

 

“Yeah, no. Then think about them flying back on themselves the second they try to touch you,” Izzy put two and two together for him. Simon started to come round. “I don’t know what this is or why it’s happening, but holy shit, is it useful.”

 

Jace pulled himself up off of Clary with some effort.

 

“Uh. Sorry.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Clary narrowed her eyes as he helped her up.

 

“You know… that siege unit coming up the road east of here? That we ran away from before?” Jace trailed off, pointedly.

 

“No way. You think we could?” Clary asked.

 

“How many men did Alec say?” Isabelle twisted her lips.

 

“More than fifty,” Jace said.

 

“We’d need Alec and Magnus for sure, but it’d definitely be a better idea than trying to get all the way to Ible Tower through this deathtrap forest.”

 

“Are you sure that’s…” Simon looked increasingly worried. “I mean… maybe we should test it a little more first?”

 

“Okay,” nodded Isabelle, picking up a nice, round stone, testing its weight in her palm.

 

“Fuck my life,” Simon thought things had been looking up for a minute there.

 

-

 

"I could… tell you a story?" Magnus offered, adorably.

  
  
"Oh dear god," Alec put his hands to his face.

 

"Hey now, I tell a mean story. My very best bard friend Simon says I missed my calling."

 

Alec sniffed a little laugh. He wanted to pull Magnus into his arms and never let him go.

 

"..fine." He was so fucking weak for this man.

 

"Hmm?" Magnus couldn't hear him, Alec's face was still covered by his hands.

 

"I said fine.." Alec said, embarrassment thick in his voice.

 

"Oh. Well. Hmm." Magnus seemed surprised for a moment, then pleased. He pursed his lips at the cave's low ceiling. "I think I'll tell you about my time with the Entabeni. They're the caretakers of the aeries of the Kwane, in the bits of the Inyoni Mountains that lie nearest the equator. The Kwane are lightning birds: they have long beaks and a tall crest at the back of their head, made of magical feathers that store energy from storms and the sun. The Entabeni farm their eggs, because they have many valuable medicinal and magical properties."

 

Alec knew tidbits about the topic, from his training, but he didn't interrupt, turning on his side, half onto his belly, his face tucked down into his pillow, just so he could watch Magnus speak. Magnus’ voice was impossibly soothing, smooth and low, rumbling about like a little brook in the hills.

 

"I was fifteen when my mother brought me up the mountains. They're beautiful, not too cold, the snow line is quite high, and they’re so steep that the whole side of it is just covered in waterfalls and lush green moss… Mother was studying the kwane for magical posterity. I had… absolutely no aptitude for climbing, something that was pointed out to me repeatedly during the months we stayed there. My best friend in the village, Imasu, actually saved me from falling to my death twice, during my stay. The first was how we met. Some local kids were showing me a stick and ball game, which is made increasingly fun, supposedly, by playing on ground that is more and more uneven. Playing on a flat was for babies… and I wanted desperately to fit in. My grasp of the area’s language was still shaky and it was the first place we'd really stayed for any length of time where I wasn't the same color as everyone else: the Entabeni have skin as dark as rosewood, it's quite beautiful. I may have tried a bit too hard, and in the process of a glorious save to prevent the ball from being lost to the mountains forever, I lost my footing. Now, my mother had, naturally, taught me a levitate spell before we ever started the ascent, but the truth is, it's quite difficult to cast in a panic, and the drop was just short enough but just long enough to make sure I wouldn't walk away from the fall. But Imasu…"

 

Alec watched Magnus eyes go misty and fond.

 

"Imasu was on the opposing team, I'd hated him immediately, because almost everything I could understand of what he said was straight trash talk, and he'd been all over me all game. I definitely came to appreciate it, later, since he already had a hand in my shirt as I went over. Asshole saved my life by fouling me."

 

Magnus glanced over at Alec's quiet snort. He had a faint smile, and his eyelids were low.

 

"Needless to say, my shirt didn't survive the experience, but it held long enough to let me grab for his hands. The other kids managed to bring us both back up. Imasu laughed afterwards and told me that I should go watch the goats for tips on how to stay upright in the mountains. We never told my mother. I have no idea why my mother bought the excuse for my ripped shirt, we made up something about a bat getting stuck inside it? _That_ was why I was so scratched up, of course. And Imasu and I… well, we were inseparable after that. Though. That's probably not the right word..."

 

Magnus' eyes went sad for a moment.

 

"We would go out for hours harvesting in the smaller caves that the older men had trouble fitting into. Kwane are beautiful, they shine like gold in the sun, they sparkle, and so do their eggs. It was dangerous of course, and Imasu claimed he only went with me to keep me from dashing myself on the side of the mountain. I got him to admit at least once that he appreciated the charm I put on us to repel electricity, in case mama kwane got back before we were done. An angry kwane is mostly a pest, but a solid bolt from them can easily send you tumbling. There were a lot of semireligious rules to it, of course, mostly to prevent over-harvesting, one egg from every nest, only if two still remain. Two was a sacred number to the Entabeni. Harvesters always went in pairs, you couldn't bring back an odd number of eggs, had to keep looking for that last one, strange things like that. Imasu thought it was mostly bullshit, but he had great respect for the birds as well. We got on like I'd never experienced before in my life. He was dour, but funny, sarcastic and biting. There was this.. softer thing underneath it, though, this depth of emotion he didn’t like anyone seeing. At first I would only catch glimpses of it, in little things, here and there, the way he played the charango…”

 

Alec's eyes pinched, faintly. The charango. The way Magnus had reacted to Simon even touching it...

 

“I tried to get him to teach me, at first, and he did, for a while, eventually pronouncing me to be the least musically talented person he’d ever met. I didn’t care, I just wanted to spend more time with him. No one raised an eyebrow at me and Imasu spending so much time alone together... except for my mother."

 

Alec's breath caught. He tried to read Magnus, but Magnus wasn't looking at him. He was caught up in the memory.

 

"Of course, I knew almost immediately, no one needed to explain anything to me, I just knew. He made me.. flustered and happy, he was beautiful and I wanted to touch him. And I did. Not… sexually, just… casual touches, closeness, we held hands and bumped shoulders, spent far too much of our time just having a friendly tussle. He never thought it was strange, either. No one in the village did. But… my mother did. She didn't say anything, really, just… frowned, just… well, she made Imasu feel unwelcome... and I didn't understand, my mother was the most gracious person, even to a fault, to everyone we’d ever met, I'd never seen her act like this to a stranger, especially not someone as young as Imasu. He was barely older than me, and he’d always treated her with great respect. It didn’t make sense to me."

 

Alec felt a rising sort of dread, but didn't stop Magnus from telling the story. He had to hear the end.

 

“I loved my mother so dearly. She was my idol, the only figure of any permanence in my life, and my model for what a person should be. She was strong, stubborn, incredibly foul-mouthed, but endlessly, hopelessly kind and giving. She had taught me almost everything that I knew, and there was no one else to teach me otherwise. I should tell you… my magic is different than rune magic. Anybody can use rune magic, rune magic is stored and transferred, almost all of it comes from special things or places, magical sources, pulled up en masse by those who have a connection with the land, or the spirit of a place, a structure with great history, objects held in long reverence. For everyone who isn’t a mage in the same way I am, magic is almost an object, and it has more permanence to it, it… sticks. But the magic that was passed down to me is… well it’s more ephemeral, an energy, that I can direct into any spell I can learn.. or figure out.. or even imagine, though it’s tricky, and takes a lot of practice. I don’t need anything to do magic, and the energy to do it might run out in a day, but it just comes back again the next, no matter where I go. And that energy comes from.. who knows where... We don’t really know much about sorcery, even today, other than that it comes from the blood, from family.”

 

Alec knew far less about it than Magnus, that was for certain. Sorcery of Magnus’ sort was uncommon in most of the places Alec had traveled to, though not unheard of. It was stereotyped as a bit exotic, mostly an export from far Eastern or Southern lands, but Alec really didn’t know how common it was anywhere else.

 

“Not all the time, though. Not every sorcerer’s child is also magical, in eight children, you might get one mage. It helps when both parents are mages, but not even that much. ...This gift was passed down to me by my mother. And my father.”

 

Magnus said the second thing differently: the first like it was true and a fact, the second like it was true, but he didn’t want it to be.

 

“It’s rare, this thing I have. It’s rare, and getting rarer. This is something I knew, back then, in the mountains, had known all my life, in the periphery of my mind. But I never focused on it closely. You wonder why I mention it, but it will make more sense soon.”

 

Alec thought it made some sense already.

 

“Months passed, Imasu and I grew closer, my mother more suspicious, assigning me a curfew I'd never had before and didn't understand. We never went hunting after dark anyway. And then one day, we found a very special egg. Twice the size of any we'd seen. But there was only one egg. We argued. Imasu wanted to take it, there had to be exceptions for special circumstances, he said. I disagreed, I knew my position as an outsider would mean more consequences, possibly for my mother as well as me. He finally relented, but we'd hovered too long. The bird who'd laid the fabled giant egg was double the size as well, and thrice as vicious. The enchantment I’d cast protected us well against the bolts it sent our way, but not the bird's claws or beak. Imasu was last out of the cave, so I cast the levitation spell on him, as we climbed. Just in time, too, because the bird pulled him off the cliff face a moment later. He floated away from the edge but didn't fall. The bird went after me instead, and I lost my grip and fell. Imasu caught me by the arm. We started to descend with the extra weight, fast enough to get away from the bird, fast enough to be terrifying, but slow enough for us to get hold of a small ledge as we tumbled. Once we were safe, I tore into him, called him an idiot for grabbing on to me. The spell wasn't designed for that, I told him, we both could have died. And then he said.. that he had to save my life because no one would have believed him, if he came back telling that story alone. I laughed. The relief was so intense I was almost crying. I called him an ass.”

 

Magnus paused for a moment, as if hesitant or considering.

 

“...And then he kissed me."

 

Alec froze. He swallowed hard, heart beating in his ears, fearing Magnus would check for his reaction, but Magnus didn't look at him.

 

“I'd never kissed anyone before, never felt… anything like that. Young and foolish and adolescently hormonal as I was, I declared my very intense feelings to Imasu immediately, told him that I loved him and that I would stay with him, no matter what, even if my mother wanted to leave, once her research was done. I didn’t tell my mother what had happened between us, already afraid of the repercussions, without her having said a direct word about it. Within the year the relationship between Imasu and I became… intensely sexual, though no less emotional, neither of us having had any sexual outlets before and us both being at that certain age that made it almost impossible to think of anything else.”

 

Magnus mentioned zero tawdry details, and Alec still hardened inappropriately. He looked away from Magnus, face feeling hot.

 

Alec had once had the beginnings of a relationship like that. Silly, hopeless, naive, exploratory. He wondered what could have happened if things had been different. If he’d been someone else, or managed to keep it a secret for longer than a second. He’d carried such a torch for the castle stable boy. Franzie had been so pretty and clever and playful and kind. You could never quite tell what he was really thinking, and after months of Alec being awkward, of fleeting touches and blushing and teasing, Alec had finally worked up the nerve to be direct about his feelings, almost certain they would be rejected but needing a straight answer, if only for his sanity. Turned out Franzie had thought he’d been flirting outrageously with Alec the whole time and couldn’t believe it took Alec that long to catch on. That moment had been the best thing that ever happened to him. And then… the worst, only minutes later. Franzie’s whole family lived near the front now, after Alec’s careless, blundering entrance into the world of romance. God knew what had happened to them in recent months. And Alec had never tried again, terrified of an endless array of consequences.

 

Magnus first relationship seemed like it had developed much further. To a place Alec had gotten nowhere near, even so many years later. He felt simultaneously intensely embarrassed and impossibly curious, for so many years he’d imagined how it could be, what it would have been like when he was younger, how it might even be if he just gave into his feelings for Magnus.

 

“Imasu and I kept it all a close secret, but my mother knew almost immediately when I started insisting on doing all my own washing. One day she finally accused me. She understood it so incorrectly, thought we were just doing foul things out in the rocks where no one could see us. She didn’t understand how dearly I loved him. So I told her that I planned to stay with him, even if she left. Just so she’d understand how much it meant, how much _he_ meant to me. Only now that I’m older do I understand the pain that must have caused her, to be cast aside so easily. We screamed at each other for what must have been an hour. I hated the way she treated Imasu, the way she had started to treat me, and she couldn’t bear the thought of me giving up her grandchildren, or losing me to the mountains. When she finally calmed down, I told her she should just stay, and then I wouldn’t need to choose between her and love.” Magnus sniffed a laugh, “Love, I called it, like love was some magical force that romantically bound people to one another by sheer accident and then lasted a lifetime. I was sixteen, very dramatic,” Magnus rolled his eyes, gently. “And then she said something that I will never to my dying day be able to forget, no matter how much I might try. ‘Let me tell you about love,’ she said. ‘Love is giving up your dignity, your body, the softness of your heart, for the sake of a child pure and blank and untouched by the world, for the good of the world and your people. Your father was a scoundrel, Magnus, but a mage of terrible power. Every touch I felt from his hand was filth and misery. He was cruel and he hurt me, sayang, and I don’t regret it for one moment _because he gave me you_. You are special, blessed. Your powers can do more good than a hundred normal men could ever do in their lives. Don’t let what you are fall away from this soft, green earth, I beg of you, because you are the very best thing here. While it outraged me, still outrages me more than I can possibly express, what that man did to me, I cared more about you, about love, than punishing a cruelty.’”

 

Alec wanted to protest. To tell him all the things that were wrong with her putting this mountain of guilt on him for the abuse that led to his birth. But he didn’t. His words stuck in his throat. He would wish later that he had.

 

“I… had no smart response to that. My mother didn't want me to love another man, not out of hate, fear, or some absurd sense of conformity, none of the typical, mundane reasons. She put a far more rational burden on me, that day, she made me feel the weight of the whole world on my shoulders, the same way she felt it on hers. She wasn't a stupid woman, my mother, never, never stupid, and never intentionally cruel. I respected, still respect and love her more than anyone I've ever met. And I knew, somehow partly even before she told me, that a piece of her soul was so so crippled and damaged in a way I would never fully understand, and that that was something my father had done to her. I could forgive her anything, because of that hole inside her. The one that I had filled. And so... I left Imasu in that village without a word of explanation. For five years. Those were the longest years of my life. When I finally came back.. I found him happily married, him and his husband trying to keep track of a giant brood of nieces and nephews. I never touched another man, until a year after my mother's death, and even then, it was almost a sort of revenge, something meaningless and tawdry to get back at her for leaving me alone like that, and well, maybe for making me ashamed of those feelings in the first place. But if she were still alive? I’m not sure. The bond between us was not something I think I could’ve broken willingly, not if she hadn’t gone and done it first.”

 

Alec wondered then, how Magnus’ mother had died that he was so angry at her for having done it.

 

They were both quiet for a long while, to the point that Magnus thought Alec might actually be asleep.

 

“Why did you tell me all that?” Alec asked, finally finding his voice, rough with disuse and nerves.

 

“..I don’t know you very well, Alexander,” Magnus said. Because it was true. Alec was closed like a book, dusty on a shelf. Like no one had reached for it in years. “I don’t know anything about your situation, how you were raised, what your life was like. But I wanted you to know,” Magnus spoke very slowly and carefully, “That I understand. The weight of expectation, the weight of love.”

 

Alec lower lip pulled. Water filled his eyes, against his will, made everything blurry, and something started to tumble out of him, “I don't love my parents.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever said that out loud before. “It's not like that. I love... my people, my country. I love Isabelle. And Jace. I loved our baby brother Max. Who's gone now. There are things.. a lot of things… that my siblings don't know about. But I know... I can’t.. not. I hear everything, everything, even the stuff I don’t want to know, things no one should have to know. They don't know that... my father,” Alec breathed in and out slowly, “Has sired at least eight bastards, and that five of them are dead now, and one is castrated. They don't know that I'm not actually the heir to the fiefdom, because I'm not Robert's eldest son. The mother of his eldest _living_ son is an elven woman, named Céline Herondale.”

 

No. Magnus blinked. The way Alec said it, empty and distant, like it was happening to someone else, almost like it wasn’t desperately important information.

 

“Herondale? I thought.. I thought Jace was your parents’ _ward_?” Magnus checked, but it was mostly to stave off the thought that he knew exactly what Alec was saying.

 

If Alec wanted to so badly, like that fae had said, why was it he couldn’t just tell Jace his real parentage, hand him the throne, relieve himself of the burden of the crown, and disappear off into the woods forever? Granted, Jace would make an absolutely terrible king, but-

 

“And my mother is going to keep thinking that,” Alec said, quietly.

 

Magnus stared, face twisting up, horrified.

 

“Family is everything to me, Magnus. And that's why… no matter how I might feel otherwise, I'm going to marry a woman, and make heirs, and wait _very_ patiently for both of my parents to die, because I honestly don’t know what would happen if…”

There was nothing but silence, for a very long moment.

 

“I think everything would go straight to hell, if I don’t.”

 

Five of eight bastards dead. One removed from the running for heir, by other means. And Jace.

 

Robert had to know Jace was his son. And if Robert found out that Alec didn’t want women… maybe he wouldn’t continue a farce, not with another perfectly suitable heir right under his nose.

 

And Maryse’ nose.

 

It wasn’t that Alec was afraid for himself. It wasn’t that at all. He was preserving an incredibly uneasy peace, or maybe something more like a cold war, masquerading as a family. He was protecting his brother. His half-brother, though Jace didn’t know it. From a woman who should have been Jace’s mother. But maybe was… something else, entirely.

 

“Alexander…”

 

“What, Magnus..” Alec replied, glancing over after a moment, and everything Magnus saw there was hopeless.

 

“I think I'll join you in not sleeping,” Magnus replied, going back to staring at the ceiling.

 

“..well, I appreciate it,” Alec said hiding his face in his arm.

 

A moment later, Magnus asked, “You haven’t told Jace this.. Or even Isabelle? So why did you tell me that, Alec?”

 

Alec looked unsure for a moment, and then his face got… so unbearably sad. “I don’t know... No, I do. It’s because.. I trust you?” he let it out, in a breath, like it was almost funny, but not quite. “I don’t know why… but I do. I’ve never felt like that before. It’s stupid, I barely know you.”

 

He’d never felt like that before. Never trusted anyone? The thought made Magnus quail. Both at how disturbing that was and the burden that he was the first person to hold the weight of that in his hands. He felt like Alec was a baby deer who’d dart the second Magnus’ clumsy feet snapped a twig.

 

“It’s not,” Magnus insisted, almost harsh, trying to knock the defensiveness out of him. “I’d never tell anyone. Not ever.”

 

Alec didn’t look at him. “Thank you,” he was barely audible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So often I see living versions of Magnus' mother being used as the counterpoint, in fanfic, to Alec's parents lack of acceptance. And Magnus has all this queer pride in contrast to Alec's internalized shame as a result. Which is pretty ironic, seeing as Magnus' canon mother literally killed herself out of shame at the way Magnus was born-- something he could never change about himself. I often feel like canon Magnus' very intense external pride in not conforming is a defensive measure, since a traumatic early experience like that can leave this core of shame that's so hard to eradicate entirely. You only very occasionally see little glimpses of that lingering vulnerability in the show, Magnus buries it very carefully. Anyway, yeah, I do feel like it's odd to have Magnus as a character even considering staying in the closet for any length of time, but if his mother didn't accept him how he was, and didn't die till much later in his life, this seems like a pretty natural outcome to me.


End file.
